Overall, I’m a more is more girl, whether we’re talking fashion or bagels. Not once have I uttered the words “Gee I wish this bagel were skimpier.” This, apparently, is where my path diverges from the Barefoot Contessa herself, Ina Garten. The interwebs have resurrected a 2012 clip from Ina’s show where she slices two bagels into three slices each, so she can make three (slim) smoked salmon and herbed cream-cheese sandwiches from the two bagels. People had strong opinions on slicing a bagel into thirds (though some of the commentary stemmed from a misconception that she was making a triple decker bagelwich). Everything from fast food to cultural identity was invoked, so WaPo dispatched their food reporter Emily Heil to investigate Bagelgate:
The flap involved a resurfaced moment from a 2012 episode of her long-running Food Network show in which she prepared a picnic lunch for herself and her husband, Jeffrey, to eat on a trip to Brooklyn, where they planned to visit her childhood home. (Fans will recognize this as a typically charming, slightly theme-y show setup.) For the smoked salmon and herbed cream-cheese bagel sandwiches that were the meal’s centerpiece, Ina does something unconventional. “I’m doing it with a twist,” she says. “Instead of having a big thick bagel, I like to cut it in thirds. So instead you have a nice little sandwich. I think it tastes better.”
Basically, the technique involves cutting the bagel horizontally twice so that you get three rounds instead of the usual two. That means two bagels yield six slices, which are used to make three sandwiches (math!). The beauty of this is that it means each one of the resulting sandwiches has far less of that doughy middle, which is sometimes a turnoff for people (like me!) who prefer a lower bread-to-filling ratio than traditional bagel sandwiches offer.
But here’s where many people misunderstood what Our Lady of the Denim Shirt was telling us to do — the initial post on X that seemed to kick off the controversy merely showed a picture of the three-tiered bagel (after she cut it but before she constructed it into a sandwich), making people incorrectly assume that she was making a triple-stacked bagel sandwich, using the kind of layering that defines a Big Mac or a club. This, I agree, does not sound like a great idea. And it might explain why some people were aghast. “‘I like to turn my bagels into two bagel crisps and a piece of unwieldy toast’ said the noted celebrity TV chef,” one responded. “This is what we really created Cancel Culture for!”
“Everything can be a Big Mac if you want it hard enough,” wrote another. “Ina’s been hitting the sauce again,” a skeptic concluded, referring to the TV chef’s hilarious pandemic-era video in which she prepared a massive pitcher of Cosmos.
Still, some people who misunderstood the instructions actually like the multilayered concoction (or at least the idea of it), with several praising it for allowing maximum cream-cheese adherence. “Two layers of schmear. She is a visionary,” a fan wrote.
Others merely objected to tinkering with what they think of as perfection. “As a new york jew this is a crime against me and my people,” one wrote.
The Food Network even got in on the faux-troversy, posting a video of the full clip on TikTok. “If you think you know where this is going, you don’t,” read one caption. “We vote for a triple decker bagel next!!” a later one enthused.
While I am not of the persuasion that a bagel can be too doughy, I know that this demographic exists and acknowledge their right to be wrong exist. But really, at a certain point don’t you just have to admit you want slices of bread instead! And I want to know with regards to Ina and Jeffrey specifically: so three sandwiches are made for two people… who gets the third bagelwich? Is it split in half, thus necessitating the introduction of a VERTICAL cut?? Would it not be simpler to make two bagelwiches for two people? Or is the third ‘wich just schlepped around for the outing, only to be brought back home and stashed in the fridge, with the question of who has dibs just hovering in the air.
But more importantly, how is it we’re not talking about the fact that she doesn’t toast the bagel first??!!
Ina Garten’s bagel-slicing technique has divided the internet and we don’t know how to feel about it… 🥯https://t.co/BZ0K5sX3Cm
— Good Morning America (@GMA) March 19, 2024
Photos are screenshots from Food Network video