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Dear Sybersue YouTube

Hi! Thank you for visiting, Dear Sybersue! In today’s video and post, I discuss: Are You Consistently Dating the Same Type of People?

If you are dating a similar type of person who never seems to give you what you are looking for, it’s time to re-think your strategy.

The common denominator here is you, and you are in charge of who you attract and allow into your life. You may keep hoping that you will get it right this time, but sadly, a repetitive ending continues to happen with each new encounter. This transpires when you don’t comprehend that this dating pattern isn’t serving your needs in a positive way.

We all need realigning from time to time, and it is imperative to pay close attention when your life is in a negative, repetitious mode.

  • Are you feeling frustrated not being able to meet your special person? Can you be open and willing to make some big changes?
  • Are you being honest with yourself about the part you play in your dating choices?
  • How do you think you come across when you are out in a dating scenario?
  • Do all your dates look alike because you are only attracted to a certain type?
  • Could you be considered high maintenance when you are first meeting someone?
  • Do you get turned off easily when your date doesn’t meet your expectations?
  • Have you often been told that you are too picky, or even said it about yourself?

It might be time to change up your checklist

It is very important to take some accountability for your own actions and what may not be working out the way you would like within your romantic relationships. Does your checklist have an unrealistic, detailed description of what you prioritize in a potential partner? Do they have to be in a certain financial status, have a prestigious career, and be hot as Hell, or look a certain way? Is it difficult for you to deviate from your expectations?

Lose the list and treat everyone you date individually. When you sit across from your date ticking off the boxes on a high-standards checklist, it automatically shuts the door on getting to know someone for more than how they just come across on paper. Talk to them about their life and what they like to do for fun. The last thing someone wants to endure is to be interviewed on a date in a serious and clinical manner.

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio

Taking time out from dating is also a great idea

Taking time away from the dating game can really help you gain more clarity as to what is really important to you in a partnership. It is not uncommon to get stuck in repeating similar scenarios due to what has become a familiar comfort zone. You think it is what you want because that is all you really know from your own personal experiences. When things never seem to get past the first few dates, this is the first clue that some big adjustments need to be made.

It’s never too late to change up what isn’t working out for you in your life, but the first thing you have to understand is that there is a need to alter the choices you have been making up until now. Taking time out from dating allows you to grow independently without relying on a partner to help make you feel whole. It gives you time to get yourself together and learn how to be comfortable in your own skin.

Many men and women go from one relationship to the next, or date nonstop, without understanding who they really are when they stand alone. When you step away, it also allows you more clarity to see any past dysfunction, or unhealthy patterns that you may have been repeating. It’s actually quite energizing when you learn how to change your behavior to achieve a more positive outcome in your life.

Photo by Sobirjon Tabarov

When you’re not pressuring yourself to be in a relationship, you have the freedom to make beneficial changes to enhance your life

Going on a dating or relationship hiatus, helps you to evolve into a stronger version of yourself because you are not putting dependence on anyone, for anything. You will gain so much insight about who you really are during this powerful learning curve of your life. Relying solely on yourself is an education that beings confidence and takes away long-standing insecurities.

This may also be the time when you feel ready to be in a reciprocated romantic partnership. You want someone to share your life with, but you don’t NEED someone. You now realize there is a big difference between those two words that you may not have understood in the past.

When you look back on some of your past relationships or dating experiences that didn’t work out, can you now understand why they didn’t? Write down what you notice. Were there repetitive similarities? Do you see a pattern that may have been the root of the problems you experienced?

Make notes and read them on and off to fully understand what lessons you were supposed to learn. Every encounter that we allow in our lives is there to teach us something, and the sooner you can grasp the value of this, the closer you will be to understanding what makes you truly happy.

Moving forward in your dating life, choose people that you wouldn’t necessarily date.

You can be attracted to different types of people if you don’t make looks the priority focal point. Delete your checklist and give your date a chance, even if you’re not completely sold on them right away. Many people are a little nervous on a first date, so you don’t always get the perfect feel about who they are until you see them again.

Wanting to have an instant connection has become a huge problem when it comes to dating today, and is one of the biggest reasons there are so many lonely men and women. People are walking away too quickly and not giving each other a chance. Patience is absolutely necessary when it comes to putting yourself out there in the dating realm.

The answer to finding the love of your life is to take your time and learn something valuable from each and every date. This will continue to bring you closure to finding your person when you don’t repeat similar things over and over again. It really doesn’t make sense to date the same types when you’re getting the same negative results, does it?

There is no rush to find your potential partner, so take the pressure off yourself, so you will be relaxed and fun to be around. This alone will make you more intriguing and self-confident, which is what we all want in our partnership at the end of the day.

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