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Dear Sybersue YouTube

Welcome to Dear Sybersue! Dating can be confusing and a little uncomfortable when you have been together as a couple but haven’t had the exclusive talk yet.

When is the right time to discuss your relationship status, and does it matter who initiates the conversation? You both have the right to ask questions about where your partnership is headed and openly share what you are both looking for moving forward. If your priority is to have an exclusive commitment, it is important to ensure that you are on the same page with the person you are dating.

Many people are afraid to approach having this conversation due to the fear of coming across overly assertive too soon. If you are seeing someone often, and you have established a romantic connection with them for a few months or more, you have the right to know which direction you’re going in down the road.

Unfortunately, there are many men and women who spend too much time with someone who isn’t interested in marriage, having children, or living together as a committed couple. Finding out you are not on the same page a few years later, can be devastating when you thought you were invested in a serious reciprocated partnership with them.

Don’t be the last to know what isn’t transpiring within your own relationship.

It is up to you to take charge of your life and be mindful of who you let in. When something is on the right path, there really aren’t a lot of questions because you communicate your feelings with one another. You feel comfortable in your environment with them due to the natural flow your relationship takes on. You are on equal footing and have the utmost respect for each other. There are no difficult conversations.

Many men and women are dating online today, which allows you to put up a personal profile about what you are looking for in a partnership. This is where it is important to express that you are focused on having an exclusive relationship and that you are interested in meeting someone with the same goals. If anyone you are dating tells you they are not ready to be in a partnership, walk away from them. Hanging around trying to change their mind is a waste of time and energy, and you will be the one who ends up getting hurt.

Listen to what somebody tells you and really hear what they are saying!

If you look back at past relationships that didn’t work out, do you now have clarity as to why that happened? What did you learn? When you take the time to analyze these scenarios, it really helps you to see what was missing, or what you didn’t pay close enough attention to. No relationship is perfect, but the green flags should be present early on in any new dating situation. Things like respect for others, integrity, kindness, shared values, reciprocated trust awareness, emotional availability, and great communication are important green flags to have in any potential partnership.

Ignoring red flags is a mistake we all have made when we look back at some of the breakups we endured. Never settle to be in a relationship for any reason. It is better to take your time finding your special person than to live your life in an unhealthy partnership. Always be true to yourself.

Photo by Ben White on Unsplash

How do you know if you are ready as a couple to be exclusive?

This is such a good question and is something you should examine and consciously analyze before you take the plunge into having a committed partnership. You may take this next step because you think that is where you should go after a certain period of time. This thinking gets many people into trouble due to feeling obligated, family pressures, biological clock time restraints or just getting wrapped up in the expectation process of an engagement, and romantic wedding to follow.

Some couples get so caught up in the planning process that they don’t stop to question whether this is what they really want. Choosing a life partner is one of the biggest decisions you will ever make. I am speaking from my own experience because I had doubts walking down the aisle with my first husband. Always listen to your gut instincts. If you have any warning signs, please hear them loud and clear.

Here are 18 things to think about when you are questioning becoming exclusive with someone:

  1. You think about your partner all the time, and you miss them when they are not with you.
  2. There are many healthy green flags shared as a couple in your partnership!
  3. There is a mutual respect for each other.
  4. You always have each other’s backs.
  5. There is unconditional support for their successful achievements. You are not competitive or jealous of one another.
  6. They are your top priority.
  7. You clearly see them in your future.
  8. There is reciprocated emotional maturity between you both.
  9. You are on the same page when it comes to relationship goals.
  10. Intimacy and romance are on equal footing, and you understand the importance of staying connected as a loving couple. You only have eyes for each other.
  11. You have many compatible interests in common.
  12. They are your best friend.
  13. Arguments are discussed and quickly forgotten.
  14. There are no games or control issues.
  15. You have a similar sense of humor and laugh together often.
  16. You both work through any problems in your life as a team. Not only that, but you hear each other’s concerns and find ways to alleviate stress in your partnership.
  17. There is a big appreciation for each other’s strengths, and you encourage each other to excel.
  18. They are an extension of who you already are as your authentic self.

If you have most of these 18 points as a couple, you have an excellent chance of maintaining a successful relationship for many years to come. It takes work to be in a committed partnership, but understanding the importance of having a strong-reciprocated foundation, will give you both the confidence to venture forward. Your values and morals should never be compromised when you are in the right love connection.

*Please watch the video above to hear more on today’s topic.

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Susan McCord @ Dear Sybersue YouTube

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