Dreams About Spouse Cheating – What They Mean And What You Can Do

The thought of being betrayed by your life partner is stress-inducing. These dreams about spouse cheating can make you wonder if they are unfaithful in real life as well. The deep fear has now started following you in your dreams which has made it harder for you to sleep peacefully. It may raise a lot of concerns and may even disrupt your sanity. Those who have lived cheating dreams would know that the emotions you experience during this time are no less agonizing than actual infidelity.

Although such dreams about your partner cheating are not unusual. In fact, one study claims that one in four Americans have had a dream about cheating on their partner or being cheated on by their spouse. It’s worse when you see such dreams and let insecurities and suspicions creep into your married life. On one hand, you are feeling guilty and on the other, you wonder if these dreams have any symbolic meanings behind them.

Well, you don’t need to be triggered by the sense of impending doom over such bad dreams about spouse cheating. But paying attention to this pattern and the dream content might help you gain insights into any unresolved feelings or ongoing worry or tension in the relationship. For authentic dream interpretation, we reached out to astrologist Nishi Ahlawat. She says, “Let’s clarify one thing first. When you dream about your partner cheating on you, it doesn’t mean they are unfaithful to you in real life as well.”

Why Does One Dream About Spouse Cheating?

Dreams are a sequence of images and jumbled-up scenarios that we see when we are asleep. Some stem from our desires, whereas a dream of husband cheating might take birth from our insecurities or low self-worth. Nishi says, “Dreams aren’t synonymous to reality. They aren’t predictions either. We can confidently say that these dreams are a reflection of our phobias and fears. Most of the time we dream about the things we are battling in our waking life.” 

If you are wondering “Why do I keep dreaming my husband is cheating on me or my wife is cheating on me?”, here are some possible reasons you are constantly seeing such heartbreaking and daunting visions: 

1. Trust issues

This is one of the most common culprits behind seeing dreams about spouse cheating. You have trust issues and this has nothing to do with your spouse’s loyalty or disloyalty. You are struggling to trust them despite them being loyal. Or perhaps they have given you reasons to doubt their intentions. And the uncertainties and negative thoughts in your subconscious mind are now taking shape as a dream of wife cheating on you.

2. Past issues are still haunting you

What does it mean when you dream about your boyfriend cheating on you twice? One obvious way of explaining this vision is that you come from a background of dealing with a cheating partner who hasn’t completely healed from the trauma of past infidelity yet. Whether it was a former lover who betrayed your trust or the current partner, it’s very evident that you don’t feel secure about the strength of your relationship.

“When you frequently dream about your husband cheating, it could mean your spouse cheated on you before and you gave them another chance. You’re afraid it’ll happen again. Or perhaps a past partner cheated on you and you still aren’t over it,” says Nishi.

Related Reading: 7 Tips To Forgive A Cheating Boyfriend

3. Something is wrong in your relationship

The foundation of your current relationship may lead you to dream of partner being unfaithful if something feels off between you two. These dreams are basically metaphors or symbols for your own feelings and conflicts in real life. The underlying issues in your marriage could be resurfacing as cheating spouse dreams whether you are consciously aware of them or they are bothering you subconsciously.

Talking of relationship problems, it could be something as trivial as your spouse having no free time because they are always working and it makes you feel neglected. Or you may have more disturbing issues such as an unsatisfactory sex life, broken emotional connection, or unfulfilled needs in the marriage.

4. You are feeling betrayed in other aspects of your life

Betrayal isn’t limited to romantic relationships. You can be betrayed by your friends, family, colleagues, and business partners as well. If you are constantly dreaming about being cheated on, there is a possibility that you have experienced actual cheating in life by someone other than your spouse. And you are simply projecting those feelings of betrayal onto them in your dreams about cheating and divorce. In that case, you need to find out how to survive a betrayal that isn’t from your romantic partner.

5. There is a lack of communication in your relationship

When there is a big communication gap between you and your spouse, the untold complications in the marriage manifests as a dream of wife cheating on you (or your husband). You simply don’t talk to your partner regarding these mental hurdles you are facing and they get piled up over time.

Nishi says, “Lack of good communication weakens a relationship. Dreams of spouse cheating could indicate that you and your partner need to have an honest conversation about your thoughts and feelings openly and acquire a problem-solving approach toward conflict management.” 

6. You are processing new life changes

Some big changes are taking place in your life. You are either moving to a new city or starting a new job. When there is a big change happening in one’s life, we often tend to feel more anxious and worried. This anxiousness is taking place in the form of betrayal in the dreams.

7. Fear of abandonment

I have seen people being in a perfectly loving relationship and yet fretting about their partner’s emotional investment and commitment toward them. Perhaps their partner makes them feel seen, like a special someone, but no amount of reassurance seems to be enough to hold them back from feeling jealous and unloved.

Coming from a place of low self-confidence, it makes sense that you have frequent dreams about cheating and divorce. Or should we say nightmares? They certainly reflect insecurities fostered in your mind for years and have nothing to do with your spouse cheating on you.

8. Your intuition is feeding you the idea

When you have a dream of partner kissing another man/woman, chances are nine times out of ten they are innocent. That is to say, there is no real affair in your partner’s life, not now, not ever. But there’s still a slight possibility of them actually being unfaithful.

Even though there’s no substantial evidence, cheating guilt signs are hard to suppress. If you are oblivious to your partner’s dishonest behavior, your gut is probably trying to make you aware of the situation through the series of cheating spouse dreams.

Common Dreams About Spouse Cheating And What They Mean 

Nishi says, “Dreams about spouse cheating or you cheating on your partner can feel inappropriate even though they are not in your hands. However, they don’t mean that you have the desire to cheat on your spouse or your spouse has been unfaithful to you. You have to look at the details of the dream and the person your spouse has dream-cheated on you with.” Let’s take a look at some of the most common dreams about infidelity and what they mean for a married couple:

Related Reading: How To Heal After Being Cheated On And Stay Together

1. Dreams about partner cheating on you with his ex

Sam, a 36-year-old homemaker from Boston, writes to us, “Why do I keep having a recurrent dream of husband cheating on me with his ex? I thought he is still in love with his ex but he says he has moved on and is happy with me. I said I believed him but my dreams are making me anxious. I feel guilty for suspecting him of not moving on. I don’t know what to do.”

Here are some questions our resident astrologist, Nishi, wants you to answer before you confirm that your spouse is cheating on you with their ex:

• Are they still in touch with each other?
• Does your partner often compare you with them?
• Did you catch your spouse looking at their pictures or discover any hidden messages on their phone?
• Did someone you know spot them together, even if it was for a platonic lunch that you didn’t know about?

Nishi adds, “This is one of the most common infidelity dreams. If you have answered yes to the above questions, then there are chances your partner still misses their ex. However, this doesn’t necessarily mean they are having an affair. But one thing is for sure, they still aren’t over their ex yet. On the other hand, if you answered no to those questions, then you have nothing to worry about. They have moved on but you want more affection from them. Perhaps there is a lack of affection in the relationship.”

Furthermore, it could signify that you are jealous of your partner’s ex. They have something you don’t. That’s why you want more reassurance from them in order for you to feel loved, safe, and secure in your marriage. You and your significant other need to sit down and have open communication about the way you would like to be assured of their love and hopefully, all will be well soon.

2. Dreams about partner cheating on you with your best friend

Dreams can really worry the life out of you sometimes and this one is especially a stinker, isn’t it? Dreaming about betrayal from two people you love and trust the most in a real place, makes you feel like you’ve been abandoned in a desert. Don’t worry. This doesn’t infer betrayal from either your partner or your best friend because dreams often reveal hopes and fears.

Now, which is it? Are you hoping he will cheat so you have an excuse to leave him? Or are you afraid he will cheat because you are insecure in your relationship? Nishi says, “This dream majorly reflects your fears and insecurities. You either fear your spouse is going to cheat on you with someone or you are insecure about yourself.”

You think you are not good-looking or wealthy enough to keep your partner happy. You have a deep-seated fear that you will lose your partner to someone else because of your shortcomings. Whatever your insecurity is, you need to work it out before you ruin a good relationship. Here are some ways to stop being insecure and build your self-esteem:

• Affirm your own value. Tell yourself you are good at what you do (personally and professionally)
• Treat yourself once in a while. Have a good meal, shop for yourself, get a massage 
• Practice self-compassion and be nice to yourself
• Don’t let negative thoughts like feeling cheated indicate your nature and essence. Challenge those thoughts by fighting back and saying good things about yourself 
• Avoid meeting those who mock or criticize you. Be with those who uplift you and motivate you to do better in life 

3. Dreams of spouse cheating with a stranger 

There are two people in your dreams. One you know, love, and adore, whereas you are clueless about this other person your partner is making love with. You are distressed upon waking up and don’t know if those dreams have any symbolic meaning or represent the future. Nishi clears your fears and says, “When you dream about your partner cheating on you with a stranger, it means you think that they don’t value your relationship or there is a lack of respect in the relationship. 

“Whether or not this is true is a debate for another day. For now, you are filled with this negative feeling that you and your partner are not on the same page in this marriage.” If you feel like your spouse has been working a lot more than usual, giving too much time to their family, or spending a lot of time playing online games, then this is one of the common reasons you are experiencing such dreams.

Try to spend more quality time with your partner and this issue will be resolved gradually. Go on dinner dates. Take a short vacation. Bring the spark back in your sexual relationship. Praise and compliment each other often. 

Related Reading: 10 Important Components Of Trust In A Relationship

4. Dreams of your spouse cheating with someone you are close to 

Joanna, a housewife from Chicago, says, “I had a dream that my partner cheated on me with my mom. I don’t even know how to describe what I am feeling right now. I don’t know what it means but it’s really bothering me. My mother recently divorced my father and runs her own boutique. I meet her often but since the time I’ve had this dream, I haven’t met her. I don’t know how to look at her.”

What does it mean when you dream about your boyfriend cheating on you twice with someone you’re close to, like your sibling or any of your family members? Well, your girlfriend or boyfriend dream-cheating on you with someone you love is a sign that you really want these two people to get along. They are not being disloyal to you in real life and you are just paranoid. You just don’t want them missing out on each other since you love both your partner and this person. 

On the other hand, this dream may also be picking at your insecurities. In some way this person makes you feel unworthy. Perhaps it’s their altruistic nature, a great sense of humor, or their financial stability. Don’t concern yourself so much about the dreamed-up infidelity and use it as an opportunity for self-reflection to work on your confidence.

5. Dreams of your partner cheating on you with their boss

These dreams can be really stress-inducing. The fact that your partner can see their boss every day makes it difficult to not think about this nightmare. It becomes even more unsettling if you are not content with your current sexual relationship which can be an instigating factor behind an impending affair.

Nishi says, “Before we find out why you’ve been having such bad dreams about spouse cheating on you, always remember that the majority of the time, dreams are symbolic of yourself and the happenings of your life rather than somebody else’s character, personality, or infidelity. This dream is one of the signs you are a control freak and want more control over your spouse.

“This specific dream points out your innermost desire to control and be more authoritative in your relationship. You want to control your partner and want them to bend to your will every now and then.” You can’t control anyone. You can only control yourself and your feelings. Don’t let these feelings overcome you or it can ruin a perfectly healthy relationship and you may end up with a deteriorating mental health.

6. Dreams of spouse cheating on you with their colleague 

Another common cheating dream when you have major trust issues. This happens because it’s with someone your partner sees every day; plus there might be a huge lack of trust in the relationship already. You’ve either been cheated on before by your spouse or somebody else has betrayed you in a past relationship. You are insecure and worried about being cheated on again.

It could also signify that you’re going through big life changes. If you keep seeing this dream and don’t know what to do, let your partner know that you’ve been experiencing such dreams. You can also reach out to a licensed healer or mental health professional and seek the help needed for a better understanding of your inner turmoil.

If You Are The One Cheating In Your Dreams

If you are the spouse cheating on your partner in your dreams, then the interpretations aren’t the same. These dreams point to the fact that you are feeling guilty for something. Perhaps you spoke to someone and hid this from your partner or you actually cheated on them and have been keeping them in the dark about this. Some other interpretations include:

• You don’t want to continue with this marriage 
• You feel your partner isn’t good or worthy enough to be your spouse 
• Your relationship needs aren’t being met and you feel like there is something lacking in your sexual life 
• You are giving too much time and attention to something/someone else  
• You are feeling guilty about hiding something else entirely, and it’s manifesting in the form of infidelity

These dreams are a reminder that you need to work on yourself and the unmet needs in your marriage. Whether or not you want to address these issues is your call. However, you need to keep in mind that these dreams won’t stop unless you do something about it.

This article has been updated in September, 2023.

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