Characteristics And How To Deal

Like it or not, most women are attracted to men who are responsible, can take care of them and are firm. For a lot of women, these are probably on the list of qualities to look for in a husband. Well, if you are attracted to or married to such a man, he may be one of the alpha males in relationships. Whether he’s aware of it or not, is another story.

When you give a label to the kind of personality you’re dealing with in a marriage or a relationship, establishing a connection could become a lot easier. Simply by learning what your partner can really be like, you can end up getting closer to him than you could’ve ever imagined.

Is your man assertive and confident? Could it be one of the signs an alpha male likes you? If that’s the case, are there a few things you should be doing differently to try and connect with him? Let’s find out everything you need to know about alpha male relationship psychology.

Who Is An Alpha Male?

What does alpha mean in a relationship? To understand that, let’s go back in history. While the concept initially came from the animal kingdom, in his book, Brave New World, Aldous Huxley categorized his characters into alpha and betas. Till now, we’ve just seen these terms in algorithms. Apparently, people who are great leaders, stand out in a crowd and want to become “the one in the limelight” are alphas.

Factually speaking, it can be either a male or a female. However, the catch here is that alpha males are claimed to be much more dominant since they’re winners by nature and have a “know it all” personality.

Now, there are chances that you might be attracted to their personalities because these men are:

• Very good at leading group tasks and climbing the social hierarchy
• An epitome of assertive/confident body language
• Natural leaders and usually extroverted people-pleasers

Ever been in the presence of someone who entered a room and immediately took charge? What’s more, no one questioned his authority, since he seemed to be doing a good job at it. These men exude confidence and appear to be in command of any situation that comes their way.

The alpha male psychology makes them believe they’re destined for greatness, and you’re most likely going to find an innate desire to achieve worldly success in such a person. Let’s take a look at exactly what they’re like, so you can make sure you can spot one (though it’d be hard to miss him).

7 Characteristics Of An Alpha Male

Think of an ideal partner. The qualities you seek in a potential husband or a partner for life. A man you can count on. Chances are you will think of someone confident, assertive, charismatic and capable of taking charge of situations. Someone who is not a man-child and is in constant need of attention and validation.

That ideal man you’re picturing in your mind portrays alpha male traits. Pop culture often depicts them as cocky, dominating and narcissistic. However, this depiction doesn’t paint an accurate picture of their behavior patterns. Learning about the characteristics of an alpha male will help change your perspective:

Related Reading: Love Bombing – What Is It And How To Know If You Are Dating A Love Bomber

1. He is courageous

One of the hallmarks of the alpha male personality is their take-charge attitude. This means that alpha males in relationships won’t give up their partners and bolt when the going gets tough. As long as they believe in you, you can count on them to stay by your side and fight the odds.

This usually translates very well in a romantic sense, since alpha males in relationships:

• Aren’t afraid of going after what they want
• Strike up a conversation with you a lot more confidently than others
• Don’t let minor problems get in the way of a lasting bond

2. He is in control of his emotions

Another one of the archetype alpha male characteristics is their ability to be in control of their emotions. Owing to this tendency, they’re often mistaken for being cold and detached. Perhaps, to an extent, that assessment is true.

But this ability to not let his emotions spiral out of control is what allows an alpha male to handle challenging, high-pressure situations effectively. He realizes the importance of emotional intelligence and makes sure he’s not spending valuable time crying over spilt milk.

Whether it’s getting fired from a job or being dumped by the love of his life, he will not let a meltdown control his actions. Instead, he will calm his mind and plan the best course of action to handle the situation.

3. Alpha males in relationships like to be challenged

Who is an alpha male? Someone who likes to be in the driver’s seat, steering the course of his life, staying in total control of his circumstances. Given that he is in control of so much, he enjoys being challenged every now and again. Here’s the alpha male psychological profile:

• When he faces new challenges, you’ll see a desire in him to want to succeed
• He doesn’t shy away from stressful situations and is a pro at tough decisions
• When life throws lemons at him, he probably has a whole business model planned out for his new lemonade brand

What type of woman is an alpha male attracted to, you wonder? Someone who keeps him on his toes. Someone who is complex, mysterious and capable of challenging him. If he doesn’t find something that’s going to entice him, he is unlikely to get emotionally invested and may move on easily. The only time an alpha male will pursue a woman is when he thinks it’s going to be exciting and challenging.

4. He is driven by purpose

Alpha men without purpose are like fish without water. They simply cannot survive, much less thrive, if they’re not constantly working toward a goal. Whether it’s climbing up the corporate ladder, using their passion to excel in a sport, or even taking their relationships to the next step, they’re driven by a quest for progress and improvement.

You will never see an alpha male floating through life aimlessly. If your man always aims for the stars and never lets his goals waver, it’s one of the biggest signs an alpha male likes you.

5. His doesn’t let just one aspect of his life define him

Alpha men realize the importance of striking a work-life balance. They attach equal importance to their work, relationships, friends, hobbies, health and family, to live a well-rounded life. No, this doesn’t mean that the way an alpha male acts in a relationship is going to be distant and apathetic.

Then what does alpha mean in a relationship? It means being with someone who is not clingy. When you realize the importance of personal space in a relationship, you will end up having a healthier bond.

6. He takes care of his body

Alpha males in relationships are a good influence on their loved ones. Here’s why:

• They have an active lifestyle and focus on physical strength
• They are self-aware and know when to eat healthy and when to cheat on their diet
• They nurture their feminine side but also their masculine side

7. Extremely protective

The alpha male relationship psychology is all about protecting their partner. If you’re being treated poorly, he won’t stay mum. He won’t shy away from being chivalrous and making you feel safe. He will set some really high standards, that most people won’t be able to meet. But that is also an alpha male weakness. He may get aggressive or start a fight to protect you.

Though they may sound great on paper, it’s possible the varying intensities of emotions might end up making a few of these fine gentlemen a bit harsher than the rest. In some cases, you might find yourself trying to figure out how to deal with an alpha male in a relationship, owing to their stubbornness. Just in case you’ve been convinced your man is the leader of the pack, let’s take a look at how you can calm him down when there’s no pack to lead.

Related Reading: 11 Tips To Deal With A Narcissist Boyfriend Smartly

How To Deal With An Alpha Male?

Alpha males in relationships might be unaware of it themselves but gradually, you will start discovering personality traits that are not exactly easy to put up with. What seemed sexy at first may become an irritant or a chronic relationship issue if you don’t know how to deal with the alpha male mentality. This can leave you feeling confused about how to deal with such a partner.

We know it is quite difficult, but don’t worry, it isn’t impossible because we have sorted it out for you. Here are 11 ways that can help you deal with an alpha male:

1. Let him take the lead

Alpha men tend to be perfectionists. They want to do things themselves and take the credit. Unfortunately, this trait might make you feel lonely in your relationship. But, if you love this man, you have to give him the space to be himself.

That means letting him take the lead, especially when it comes to things that are important to him. Alphas feel extremely joyful when they take on responsibility. An alpha male is an extremely confident person and doesn’t lack worldly knowledge. So, you can be sure of the fact that he’s not going to lead you into any kind of disastrous scenario.

Even if by chance, something goes wrong, let him learn the lesson on his own. Chances are he’ll understand that he’s not good at something and will not enter that territory again until he masters it. Until, of course, his stubbornness gets the better of him.

2. Calmly communicate the things you do not like about him

You might get really frustrated being with a partner who is extremely proud of himself. However, it is crucial to break the wall of pride delicately, without making him feel attacked. In addition to a sense of pride, a tendency to come across as overconfident or unwittingly embarrassing you in front of others can be common alpha male traits in dating.

Most of the time, he may not even be aware that what self-love is to him is embarrassing to you. Being his partner, you will have to:

• Improve communication with him and address your problems
• Point out instances where you felt any negative emotions because of his alpha male personality
• Talk about what bothers you and find solutions together (don’t blame him though)

This is not going to be easy because the first time you bring it up, he’s probably going to get defensive about it. An alpha male always thinks that he is right. It might take a while for you to be able to tackle his responses but try not to give up on him. Persevere and persist, and you will get through to him eventually.

3. Be as straightforward as you can

Another one of the typical alpha male characteristics is a tendency to dominate. These men know how to get things done, so they are very authoritative. They tend to bring this personality trait into their relationships as well.

You definitely do not want to do things just because he said so. Maybe at times, you can do something if it makes him happy, but if it costs you your mental peace, it isn’t worth it. So, you have to learn to identify the signs that he is dominating and say “no”:

• When he wants you to cancel your girl’s night to meet his friends, and you know that you cannot compromise on this, say it
• Rather than beating around the bush, trying to find ways to not hurt his sentiments, say it right to his face
• Tell him that you will not do a certain thing because he thinks that’s the right thing to do, you’ll do it when you want to

To him, being the “alpha male” in relationships is all about control. It may be his way or the highway, but you cannot keep making sacrifices just to please him. Stay firm about your choices. He might feel hurt and may try various ways to get you to change your mind. Gradually, he will understand and get used to it, even if he doesn’t like it.

4. Make sure he doesn’t make you feel inferior

Alphas excel in almost every aspect of their life. This can cause them to become a little too sure of themselves. They cannot stop talking about themselves. No matter where the conversation begins, it ends with them.

While it might seem fascinating at first, after you spend a considerable time as romantic partners, this tendency can turn into an irritant. You may even find yourself thinking that you’ve landed a selfish husband or partner.

Now that is a tough place to be in. It is extremely important to love yourself despite any vulnerabilities. You will have to remind yourself every single day that a man who can talk only about himself cannot measure your worth and you shouldn’t be measuring your worth on the basis of other people’s success.

If you are in a relationship with an alpha male, it can be problematic to deal with an inferiority complex especially if he doesn’t consider it to be a real thing. He might be really good at heart, but you will have to save yourself from the negative emotions on your own. Make sure that his superiority complex doesn’t give birth to an inferiority complex within you.

Related Reading: My Husband Has An Inferiority Complex And Is Abusive. Please Help.

5. Start taking authority of your own life

When you get used to an alpha, you seldom realize that you have lost control of your life. If your husband or boyfriend is an alpha, you have to, by your actions, tell them to back off while you start making your own decisions.

With an alpha, it is important to be independent financially and emotionally. Though it may be possible to depend on him, it’s probably not something you’re looking forward to doing. Plus, it can come with a lot of disappointment in the later years of life. Striving for financial independence is always a good practice.

There might be days when you fight and he will make sure to list out everything he has done for you and that is not going to be a pleasant conversation. This is why, from the beginning, stay in control of your own life.

• He is your partner and you should definitely take his opinions, but make sure the final decision is yours
• It should be made clear to him that no amount of manipulation will give him control of your life
• It’s time to stand up and let him know that things are going to change from now on

6. NEVER, ever tolerate an alpha male’s tantrums in a relationship

Do not boost his ego just to end an argument. You cannot encourage his desire to always have his way, because it will only encourage him to continue doing it. Even if you have a disagreement, show him that it is possible and important to fight respectfully.

Related Reading: Dealing With A Cranky Husband – 13 Tips That Work

Whenever you are in a fight and he decides to storm out of the house and vows to not come back, keep your cool and let him go. After an hour or two when you don’t give him the attention he wants, he’ll come back, confused as to why his childish tantrum didn’t do the trick.

If his ego is the size of a football field, he might not show his face for a day or so, but eventually, he will. Because of this, he will also understand that you will not tolerate any such nonsense and might not do it again. He would know disrespecting you is not going to get him what he wants.

7. Meditation can help deal with the stress

While there are very few things that you can change about a person, there are surely a lot more things to change about yourself. Dealing with an angry male can be difficult. Most of the time, you will end up feeling annoyed and frustrated.

But if you value your relationship and want to make it work, make sure that you learn to handle things calmly. A composed mind will help you see things clearly. It will help you make decisions regarding your relationship and also deal with his behavior patterns.

For that, take out 10-15 minutes a day for yourself to meditate. Do anything that makes you feel calm. It could be soothing music and closed eyes or yoga or exercising. Meditation doesn’t always have to be concentrating on one thing. It can be any form of activity that helps your brain to calm down.

8. Accept that alpha males in relationships are perfectionists

You have to understand alpha male psychology. He holds you to high standards because of his self-doubt. It has nothing to do with you. He expects out of you what he expects out of himself. And science says lasting relationships come down to 2 basic traits: kindness and generosity. So, be kind to him when he is not kind to himself.

9. Stay in touch with your hobbies

How to be irresistible to an alpha male, you wonder? Or what type of woman is an alpha male attracted to? Someone who has a life of her own. So, don’t neglect your Master’s degree just because you’re in a relationship. A friend recently confessed, “My boyfriend dominates conversations and so I needed a space to vent out my emotions. Writing about it in a journal has really helped me.” You can also try dancing, painting or singing.

10. Be mysterious

Who is an alpha male and what does he look for? The answer to this question can be summed up in two words: unique and unpredictable. Here are some tips on alpha dating:

• They are very smart and generally know women well (because alphas are surrounded by them often)
• They take pride in knowing how a woman is going to react
• But if you show them that you can be unpredictable and mysterious, they will see you as a breath of fresh air

Keep him on his toes, and soon you will see the signs he is ready to settle down with you. This doesn’t mean that you start acting fake but try to keep things interesting to make an alpha male chase you. If you continuously change things up, he will start spending more time with you, take you on dates, spoil you, and treat you like his best friend. Let him do some hard work!

11. Know when to walk away

Whilst you can take all the measures given above to deal with dominant male traits, you have to know when it becomes unbearable. If there’s alpha male toxic masculinity, walk away, no matter how hard it seems. Know that nothing is more important than your peace of mind. At the end of the day, happiness is a state of your own mind. No other person can give it to you, you have to help yourself.

Do whatever it takes to have a good and successful relationship with an alpha male but make sure you know where to draw the line. If an alpha becomes intolerable or toxic, it is time that you let him go. Do not harm your emotional well-being in order to love a person.

A man who is alpha is never going to be able to change his basic nature since it’s pretty much ingrained in him. You can only find a way to live peacefully with him, as is the case in any other relationship. For him, there is no turning back. But that’s not to say that they’re bad people. Alpha males in a relationships may just end up being extremely caring and loving, since they value what’s important to them and aren’t shy to admit it.

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