Slow and Steady Wins the Relationship Race – Dating Relationship Coaching & Advice

In many positive relationship stories, taking things slow in the initial dating process is the reason why these couples were able to get to the next level to become life partners.

Being aware that it is important to treat each person you date with respect, and to always be your authentic self, will help you to maintain a positive dating life. If you are always natural and sincere each time you meet someone, the first impression you make is that you are being honest and approachable. You are easy to talk to, and you give off a comforting vibe.

Many people don’t always take this into account and go into a date somewhat aggressively when meeting someone for the first time. This is very common when there is an undeniable sexual chemistry between a couple. It can be hard to ignore those powerful pheromones, but if you act on them too quickly, things can fizzle out just as fast as they started. Sex too soon can add pressure and higher expectations into the mix.

Some men and women put all their needs out on the table on the first few dates.

Lose the high-maintenance checklist and get to know someone slowly! Having too many expectations comes across as demanding. One of the reasons dating has become so difficult today is due to the impatience of both men and women wanting instant gratification.

Take some time to find out who your date is before making quick judgements about someone you have just met. Just because someone doesn’t click all of the boxes on your potential partner list doesn’t mean that you many not be compatible with them. Many people are nervous on a date and need a little time to feel comfortable with a person they are just meeting.

Asking numerous questions comes across as an interview, which certainly doesn’t help anyone feel warm and fuzzy. Using humor and having a playful conversation is much more appreciated and will definitely help a couple get to a second date. A light-hearted discussion makes people feel less guarded and opens up a mutual trust.

If some people don’t feel a powerful chemistry on the first date, they are not interested in having a second date.

This is a big mistake for many reasons! It takes time to build a comfortable connection with someone. Think about this for a minute. You are interested in finding a potential partner to share the rest of your life with. Why should this be an easy accomplishment without putting in some solid energy into getting to know if you are a great fit as a couple? This is not an overnight success story and couples who take things slower, understand the importance of this.

Many men and women spend years going to university to obtain their career goals and think nothing of the time invested. Unfortunately, the same cannot be said for having a partnership. Why is the patience less for finding the love of your life? People who do not understand that building a love connection takes time, are shortchanging their happiness. Everything worth having in life, takes time to achieve.

Understanding there is a big difference between infatuation and love.

It is very easy to fall in lust with some quickly, but falling in love is much more involved. Lust is a chemical/physical attraction, but when you fall in love with someone, there is a deeper bond shared between a couple. You communicate on a higher level, and you look forward to having a future together. You’re not taking things day to day, you are looking far beyond that and planning your life together with a reciprocated excitement.

When you do you feel a mutual connection, it is wonderful to share that with each other but this is not the time to rush into a relationship. Devising a dating schedule once or twice a week that works for both of you is a great idea. When you openly talk about these things in the first few months, you both know where you stand with each other. You are on the same page, and best of all there are no games or convoluted feelings because you communicate as a couple.

Try to avoid the temptation to see each other more often regardless of how amazing things are going between you both.

Relationships that keep a little distance and some mystery alive in the first 3 months tend to hold the interest longer. When things happen too fast between a couple it puts a hidden pressure on them that they may not be aware of until things quickly dissolve. Many people freak out when things are too good too fast.

This happened in my own relationship even though we didn’t start out fast at all. Sometimes when things are so good in the beginning of a new partnership we sabotage it because we think it is too good to be true, or we don’t believe that we deserve it.

My partner was going through a divorce at the time and literally ran in the opposite direction after we established we were in an exclusive relationship. We did find our way back together a month later but I was definitely a little more guarded this time around. It took me quite a while to trust his feelings again after that transpired. (Long story short, we’ve been married for many happy years now.)

Taking things slower gives a couple time to build a connection and a shared trust.

When you take time to get to know someone that you are dating, it keeps you wanting to know more and more about them. It’s much more intriguing, and you miss them when you are away from one another. You are also more aware of any red flags because you are not brushing things under the rug. You are paying attention to everything about them because it is not just an overpowering lustful connection. Not only that, but you are building a solid rapport and respect with each other.

When a new couple understands that having a wonderful connection isn’t just all about sex, is when there is a chance to end up in a great relationship. Taking your time jumping into bed with someone really helps give you clarity on where you stand with them. Sex is always much better when you have established strong feelings for someone. When you fall in love with them, it’s even better!!

It is also important to understand there is a difference between taking things slow and taking things too slow!

You want to know that you are in relationship with them and not in a causal arrangement. This needs to be discussed and agreed upon so that you know where you stand. You both should have some reciprocated goals about what you want in the future as a couple. You should be included in each other’s personal lives with family and friends, and want similar things outside your partnership as well.

There shouldn’t be any hesitation moving forward in your relationship after about 6-9 months. It should now be in a healthy place, bringing you even closer together. You know things are going well when you continue to communicate and there are very few questions about the stability of your partnership.

You continue to evolve together because you respect and prioritize each other. You are now at the stage of wanting to be together more as a couple because you took the time to really get to know each other. Loving them as a best friend, first, is the important key to maintaining a committed partnership for many years to come.

Sybersue xo