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You have landed on this page because you are in a position where you can’t stop saying, ‘My girlfriend is ignoring me’. Your relationship is on the edge now and you absolutely do not know what to do next. When your girlfriend is ignoring you and you are not sure why, it can be difficult to gauge her emotions and understand what to do next.
Your girlfriend, who would first get excited to see you or even your text for that matter, is now finding reasons to ignore you as if you are some stranger stalking her.She also gets angry and frustrated easily and you feel that she is just finding reasons to stay away from you or bail on meeting you. As annoying as this may be, there is no need to fret. If you want her to stop ignoring you and get to the bottom of the issue, you have come to the right place today.
Can A Girl Love You And Still Ignore You?
Many women and even men, tend to appear distant and aloof in relationships sometimes. And even though it feels like like a big problem or even a sign of emotional cheating, it does not quite have to be. A girl can be madly in love with you but still not be able to give you the attention you want.
It’s possible that she is upset or disappointed in you, as you are not behaving in a way that she wants. It’s passive aggressive behavior on her part, and does not necessarily mean that she has started talking to a new guy. Perhaps she is unhappy with your actions or is feeling unsure about the relationship and this commitment. Either way, she’s dealing with something on her mind which is why she is unable to give you the affection she used to.
Why Is My Girlfriend Ignoring Me All Of A Sudden?
When your girlfriend ignores you and does not act normal, the ‘why’ of it is a question that can baffle the best of minds. Things can get pretty confusing when she acts this way, but finding the reason behind her cold shoulder might give you the clarity you need and take away the anxiety around it.
Is your partner stonewalling you or giving you the silent treatment? The possible reasons behind it are quite straightforward in nature. So instead of getting angry at her and starting a fight, let’s get to the bottom of the issue. Here are some grounds for when your girlfriend ignores you.
1. She’s got a lot on her plate
When your girlfriend does not respond to your text, don’t jump the gun and assume it’s because she hates you and has fallen in love with someone else. Maybe your girl’s just a busy bee and simply caught up with work or her annoying boss. It’s possible that your relationship has taken a backseat because of her hectic schedule.
A reader from Omaha confirmed this when he wrote to us, “She was constantly on the phone, and that sort of weirded me out. I (wrongly) thought my girlfriend forgets about me and talks to other guys instead. But a straightforward conversation about it cleared things up nicely. It was just a barrage of work problems.” I guess one can say that dating a workaholic ain’t a piece of cake!
2. When your girlfriend seems uninterested, it could be because things have gotten boring
One of the top reasons for when your girlfriend ignores you incessantly, is boredom in the relationship. Things get stale after a while when the honeymoon phase wears off and your committed relationship starts feeling like a lot of work. Both partners stop putting in efforts to sustain the romance.
She might not even be ignoring you per se; perhaps she’s sick of the dreary routine you both have fallen into. It’s not that she doesn’t love you, she’s just not loving this routine.
3. You’re the culprit
‘If your girlfriend is ignoring you what does it mean?’, you ask? In this regard, do think about what and if you could have possibly done something wrong. If you haven’t been a good boyfriend lately, then this is the obvious reason behind her cold vibes. Were you insensitive to her needs? Did you forget something important to her? Have you said something hurtful during an argument?
Related Reading: 6 Steps To Take If You Are Feeling Trapped In A Relationship
4. One reason she’s ignoring you is because she needs some me-time
And that’s natural! Space in a relationship is incredibly important. She’s not trying to shun you, she just can’t help herself because she needs a little more time away from you. At this point, you should try to give her some time and try not to feel uncomfortable by her behavior. Women tend to go into their shell when things get too difficult.
A relationship can be quite demanding, and many a time, people just aren’t in the right space to give what it takes. Your girlfriend probably needs to be by herself and recalibrate things. A little time with her thoughts is what she’s probably asking for; as a side-effect, you’re thinking, ‘my girlfriend ignores me and talks to other guys.’ Just give her space, and she will come right back to you.
5. She is no longer interested in you
This possibility might seem extreme, but you should consider it nevertheless. When your girlfriend is ignoring you, it can be one of the signs your partner is losing interest in the relationship. There could be a number of factors behind this: she’s found someone better, you both have grown apart, there’s no intimacy between you two, etc. She’s stopped putting in the effort because she sees the impending end clearly. Maybe she’s waiting for the right time to break the news to you.
6. She feels misunderstood by you
For all you know, your girlfriend might be acting this way because she feels disregarded by you in the first place. Maybe she shared her dreams of a new project with you, a vacation she is saving up for or a major life decision that she wants to take. It is possible that you unintentionally dismissed her, which is making her feel misunderstood.
Is she trying to get a new job that you haven’t taken much interest in? Or has she recently taken up a new hobby that you casually made fun of? When your girlfriend ignores you, it is because she’s cross with you for not taking the time to be invested in her.
7. You are slacking off in the relationship
Remember when you two used to go to the movies every Friday? Or that you two had signed up for a baking class several months ago? Is it possible that you were spending more quality time with your girlfriend earlier than you are now?
One of the top reasons she is not giving you time, is because she is disappointed in how things are going with you. She loves you dearly, but is sad at how complacent you have become. Your date nights are now just Netflix and pizza which makes her feel like you are not putting effort into the relationship.
8 Things To Do If Your Girlfriend Is Ignoring You
Probably all was well and good a few days or weeks ago. Then, she suddenly started ignoring you and you are battling mixed feelings about what is going on. ‘My girlfriend is ignoring me after our last date’, or ‘my girlfriend ignores me every time i try to talk to her’ are concerns that are constantly abuzz in your mind.
If these are the thoughts that you are having right now, we have the answers to your questions. If she is genuinely interested in you, then don’t worry because she will come right back. Don’t feel insecure and instead do these things to get things back on track:
1. When your girlfriend might be ignoring you, back off for some time
You think, ‘what to do when my girlfriend neglects me,’ and you believe that she might be having second thoughts about your relationship. But for all you know, there’s another stressor in her life maker her feel this way. It could be work, her family or just a fight with her best friend. Her frustration shows that something is bothering her and she doesn’t want you to be a part of that right now. You have to draw the line between love and privacy in a relationship.
To ensure that you don’t spend your time obsessing over why she needs to be away from you, you must keep yourself productively engaged. Use this time to pursue your hobbies and passions. For instance, if you like fishing, this would be a great time to get yourself new fishing gear and try it out.
Likewise, if you enjoy being in nature, order yourself a camping rig and spend some time in the woods. Cycling, music, reading, gardening, adventure sports…do whatever gives you a sense of fulfillment. And for the time being, leave her alone.
Related Reading: How To Deal With Being Ignored By Someone You Love?
2. Don’t do the same thing and make things worse
When your girlfriend does not respond to your text, don’t try to do the same to her when she actually does try to get back in touch with you.
If you start ignoring her because she is ignoring you, it will just drive her even farther from you. Don’t get angry at her and start seeing other women to make her feel worse. Being mature is very important in a relationship, especially when you are navigating a rough patch. Following your girlfriend’s footsteps can be quite destructive in this case. Resist the urge to get back at her. Instead, give her more attention if she asks for it.
3. Perhaps, you are thinking too much about it
For all you know, there may not be that many reasons behind why your girlfriend may be aloof. So a quick tip is, that you perhaps stop overthinking it and try to see things at face value.
Sometimes we think too much about things that might not be that big a deal. What appears to be her ignoring you, could just be her focussing her energies on a work project, reconnecting with friends or she is just having a busy month taking care of her mother. What may appear to be mixed signals, might just be her being overwhelmed.
She might have always been the same but either you are noticing it now or wanting more than usual. Maybe you’re being a needy boyfriend and she doesn’t know how to handle this side of you as she feels overwhelmed.
4. What to do when your girlfriend disregards you for days? Be kind to her
Even though it feels like your girlfriend is being brutal to you by pulling away so much, try to love her despite it all. Let her know that you love her and that you are willing to make this relationship work no matter what. If she’s going through a rough patch, you need to be all the more kinder to her.
At this point in time, she doesn’t need more confrontations and fights but just some time away perhaps. She needs someone who will take care of her and be there for her as a friend first. In this case, you need to be good to her instead of picking a fight. Make her favorite meal, take her out for a long drive on days she is stressed or just be around her when she is working too hard on late nights, to make her feel less alone. It will help her reconnect with you when she sees how caring you truly are.
5. What to do if my girlfriend is ignoring me? Assure her you are and will be there for her
Even though she may be ignoring you right now, her love for you has not waned. Not only in your actions, but you should also verbally reassure your girlfriend that you love her. It will help bring back her confidence in you and she will open up to you sooner. She needs to know that you are there for her no matter what.
When your girlfriend neglects you when you two are in a long-distance relationship, then you might blame it for making you both so distant. In such a scenario, go over to her and talk to her instead of playing any silly blame games. Find out what’s wrong and be there for her both physically and emotionally. Knowing that you’ve got her back will make her feel secure in the relationship. It’s always nice to have someone you can fall back on.
Related Reading: How To Know Your Girlfriend Is Still Not Over Her Ex
6. Find out if she is depressed or having a rough time
One of the reasons behind her weird behavior around you could be because your girlfriend might be depressed. Has she not been sleeping lately? Does she appear more tired than usual? Has she stopped ordering her favorite chili lime salad from the Asian place near her house?
According to the National Sleep Foundation, people with insomnia are 10 times more likely to have depression than those without the condition. When your girlfriend stops talking to you after a fight, don’t just ignore her and wait for her to make it up to you. Do check on her and her mental well-being.
If she is showing signs of depression, you need to take steps to get her help. Many relationships suffer because of one partner’s mental health problems. Seeking professional help can get you through this difficult time together. At Bonobology, we have a range of counselors and therapists who can support you. Healing is just a click away.
7. Get her talking again when something is wrong
“My girlfriend is ignoring me for a week.” “My girlfriend is ignoring me after a fight.”
If it’s been over a week after a fight and you two have not spoken, then we understand your stress in figuring out what to do next. As annoyed as you may feel, it is important to keep all channels of communication open. Have a serious discussion with her about what’s going on.
If she does not want to talk about anything serious, then just talk normally. Ask her a simple question like how her dog is doing, if she needs more eggs or other groceries. Tell her about your day or a new movie that you watched. Make the first move, if she is not doing so.
8. Do not neglect yourself when your girlfriend is ignoring you
“My gf ignoring me was so harrowing, that I started drinking and partying too much to distract myself from it. Eventually, I got so sick that I had to skip a week of work,” said Josh, a reader from Louisiana. In the midst of navigating the reasons behind your girlfriend acting up, it is easy to lose your own self respect and routine in the process.
You need to save your relationship, but before that, you need to save yourself first. Think about yourself too and your needs. Not taking care of yourself will make you a mess and you’ll just become more clingy and desperate, not the person she fell in love with.
Use this time to invest in your physical and emotional well-being. You could start by eating healthy and committing to a new workout regime.
At the same time, pay attention to your mental health. Listening to a meditation tape for a few minutes a day, or working with a meditation guru one-on-one, can really help calm your mind. Don’t dwell on thoughts of her and just give her some time. Don’t let her mixed signals get to you so much.
Key Pointers
- If she is driving you away, it does not mean that she loves you. Maybe a boredom has crept into the relationship or she has other stressors on her mind
- Don’t dismiss her or give her the silent treatment if she ignores you. Give her the same love and kindness
- Do not always hover around her and give her some time and space to figure herself out
A sudden change in behavior from the one you love can indeed feel devastating. But the best action in this case is to stay composed and kind, no matter what. Don’t lash out or give her an ultimatum, as it will only drive her further away. Stand your ground and be ready to support her. If it is true love, she will come back. But if she does not realize your worth and chooses to neglect you, well then perhaps this relationship was bound to end. Now you know what to do.
This article was updated in July 2023.
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