In the wake of Ronnie Turner‘s passing, his widow — French singer Afida Turner — is discussing how she was “destroyed” by the devastating loss.

Amid the grief, though, Afida says she plans to have a baby within the next year by using the frozen sperm Ronnie left behind as a gift.

RELATED: Tina Turner’s Son Ronnie’s Cause Of Death Revealed To Be Complications Of Stage 4 Colon Cancer

Afida Turner Details Her Emotional Struggles Before Announcing Baby Plans

Afida dished on the subject during a sit-down with PEOPLE. She started by remarking that she was “destroyed” when Ronnie passed away late last year.

“It’s a punishment. Morning and night, I’m crying and screaming.”

She added that her life in Los Angeles became “a real nightmare” after Ronnie’s death, prompting her to “[get] the f**k out of there” and hit up Egypt for a month. Of course, Tina Turner passing away six months after Ronnie’s death dealt an additional blow.

“It is very difficult for me because people only see the music or the pictures, but I go back home and scream the names of my loved ones. [That pain] will never go away.”

Afida Turner added that her faith keeps her going as she tries to keep everything together.

“You don’t want to go through this in life. You have to talk to God, otherwise you go nuts and kill yourself. I’m suffering and my heart is destroyed. I’m trying not to lose my mind.”

At this point, Afida announces, “I’m going to have Ronnie’s baby!” However, she’s sure to add, “If I can—I’m 46. But we’ll see.”

Afida ended the interview by explaining that she hopes to give birth to the child via IVF before her 47th birthday on December 22.

“It’s still bad because he’s not here,” she explained. “But what can I do? At least I will have a little one that looks like Ronnie. A monster like me and him, can you imagine?”

Ronnie Turner Passed Away Of Colon Cancer Complications In December

As The Shade Room previously reported, Ronnie Turner passed away at the age of 62 late last year. Notably, this development came about four-and-a-half years after Tina’s eldest son, Craig, died by suicide.

Shortly after his passing, Ronnie’s cause of death was revealed to be complications from stage 4 colon cancer.

Of course, we should note that this tragedy occurred about six months before Tina passed away. She was 83 years old and had long enjoyed her privacy in Switzerland with her partner, Erwin Bach.

RELATED: Beyoncé, Angela Bassett, Oprah Winfrey & More Celebs Grieve Tina Turner Following Her Death At Age 83

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