It is a tragedy that still shocks fans today. 

Ten years ago, on July 13, 2013, Glee‘s breakout star Cory Monteith was found unresponsive at the Fairmont Pacific Hotel in Vancouver. His cause of death was later revealed to be from mixed drug toxicity, with heroin and alcohol found in his system. He was 31 years old.

Just one month after his untimely passing, the Fox hit filmed a tribute episode title “The Quarterback,” which ultimately aired in October of that year. 

“It’s an episode I was able to watch once,” creator Ryan Murphy said, noting that after Monteith’s death a sense of joy had vanished from Glee‘s set. “And I never looked at it again.”

Lea Michele—Monteith’s girlfriend at the time of his death—understands that pain. In fact, she’s never seen the episode. “I think if I don’t watch it,” she previously shared, “it just kind of feels like Finn is still there.”

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