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You, me, and almost everyone we know has been ghosted and done the ghosting at least once in our lives. Be it online dating, friendship, extended family, or ex-co-workers, it’s never appropriate but responding with nothing has become more and more prevalent. However, it feels hurtful to be on the receiving end of ghosting, and you might find yourself wishing you knew how to make a guy regret ghosting you.
Ghosting is when one person decides that cutting off communication without an explanation or closure is their only option to end things or get out of uneasy situations. Being ghosted can leave you emotionally damaged. After all, if a guy leaves you on read after what you thought was a successful third date, it’s natural that you’d google ‘how to make a guy regret ghosting you’ after marinating in self-doubt and ego conflict.
For a ghoster, the act of ghosting may be a means of avoiding conflict or uncomfortable conversations, but avoiding these issues like this can lead to feelings of guilt, shame, or remorse for them. Still, a study by Theresa E. DiDonato, Ph.D., a social psychologist and a professor of psychology, says that many people consider ghosting as a reasonable way of leaving short-term relationships.
Why Did He Ghost Me?
There are many reasons that someone might ghost another person. Some common reasons are:
- They feel overwhelmed or uncertain about the relationship
- A lack of emotional maturity or self-awareness
- Unsure of how to communicate effectively
- Means of avoiding conflict or difficult conversations
- A way to end a relationship without any confrontation
- Ghosting can be a result of a mismatch in what both people want or expect out of a (potential) relationship
- When it comes to ghosting done by some men, it may be a way of coping with feelings of insecurity or fear of rejection
- When men ghost, they may have a fear of commitment and they might not know how to express that in a way that is honest but not hurtful
- They may have lost interest or found someone else
Here’s what was found through a study done on a group of college students by Prof. Royette Dubar:
- Some people may ghost out of fear of confrontation and poor communication skills
- People may ghost someone over the fear of things escalating between them such as developing feelings for the other person
- In some other cases, female participants reported safety as a reason for ghosting guys that come off as too ‘shady’, ‘toxic’, or who seemed to have the wrong intention
Related Reading: 10 Signs That He Is Not Really Trustworthy
Dr Gili Freedman (assistant professor of Psychology) mentions in her research paper that many young people ghost out of fear of uncertainty of the future. It’s important to remember that every person is unique, and there is no one-size-fits-all answer to why people ghost. The reasons for ghosting are different for different people and can be fueled by their personal experiences and understanding of how dating or relationships should progress.
How To Make A Guy Regret Ghosting You – 21 Ways
Being the bigger person, letting go and getting over it, are all the same tired cliches you hear when you ask someone how to approach getting ghosted. Well, we understand the hurt of being ignored and the rage that comes with it. Besides, there’s no harm in having a few aces up your sleeve to show that guy that two can play the game. Go on and take a look at 21 ways on how to make a guy regret ghosting you.
1. Fake it till you make it
Realizing you have been ghosted has got to be one of the most bitter wake-up calls for someone to experience. You’ve been wanting to make a guy regret ghosting you, we know, so let’s set up the first step toward that.
- It is normal to be feeling a cocktail of emotions such as confusion, anger, sadness, and loneliness, but stop right there – you need to fake nonchalance
- To get even with the ghoster, remember that we can’t ever know how ghosters feel unless they explicitly say it themselves; all we can do is manage our reactions
- Start with pretending to be unbothered, as if it doesn’t matter if he were to return your calls/texts or not
Related Reading: 9 Things Ghosting Says About You More Than The Person You Ghosted
2. Out of sight, out of mind
When a guy is actively trying to dodge your texts and calls or has already ghosted you, he doesn’t deserve to be pursued any longer. So, if someone is looking at your efforts and still doesn’t want to see you, it’s better to let him be out of sight and out of mind.
Becoming unavailable to the ghoster will send them a message that you do not care about them, which will play into their ego and make them want you back, in turn making them regret ghosting you. If he is a serial ghoster, he may be a person who ghosts people just to see their reactions. If you don’t give him a reaction, he might just start doubting himself and if you even noticed his absence properly.
3. Vent it out, spill the tea
Instead of thinking about how to make a guy regret ghosting you, take some time off and lighten your mind. Call or meet your friends. We assure you that is part of self love.
- Sometimes, all you need to get over someone is to call your BFF and vent your heart out to them
- Get on a conference call, include every single person in your close circle you can think of who loves drama and Spill. The. Tea!
- Now what would be even better is if your friends spread said tea, and the whole universe finds out what a big ghoster the guy is
- The more you talk about it, the more you realize it happens to the best of us and that someone who doesn’t want to give you their time doesn’t deserve yours either but your friends do
4. Ignore him if he reaches out
Just as you start to get going, they pop up in your inbox with a “Hi” or “How are you?”. This is called ‘breadcrumbing‘ because they give you tidbits to keep you going. Turn off this nonsense because you deserve something real.
Always beware of the 2 a.m. texts. Because come morning you’re getting left on seen again. So, don’t reply and leave him wanting more. If you ignore him, he will realize he’s losing his effect on you and so he will try to get your attention back. He needs to satisfy his ego after all.
Related Reading: What He Thinks When You Ignore Him – 11 Surprising Revelations
5. Keep your options open
One of the best ways to get over a guy who ghosted you is to give another guy a chance, and then make sure the guy who ghosted you sees that you are with another guy. This will make him agitated and jealous; he will wonder how you could move on so quickly, and he’ll probably want you back.
And it is healthy for you as well, since you might find a better guy. I personally believe in keeping my options open until a guy proves he’s serious by his actions and not just his words. The gist is to keep your options open so that one guy doesn’t hog up your time, attention, and efforts.
6. To make a guy regret ghosting you, confront him
Be upfront about wanting a confrontation. Ghosters hate that and it is one of the major reasons guys ghost in the first place, too. Instead of blocking him if/when he makes a comeback, ask him firmly to clarify his ghosting act. This will not only catch him off guard, but also make him dumbfounded.
He will try to justify his actions, and in doing so, he will unconsciously be seeking your approval. He won’t even realize that he is regretting ghosting you. But if he can’t justify his actions by the truth, he is not worth letting back in your circle.
7. Weigh actions against words and be less forgiving
Suppose the ghoster comes back with a sugared apology. You need to give him a taste of his own medicine. So, your next move needs to be this – Do not forgive him. This is one of the best ways on how to make a guy regret ghosting you.
Words mean nothing if they are not followed up by actions that match. It’s easy to get back into a toxic pattern of him disappearing and reappearing whenever it’s convenient for him. His apologies mean nothing if he doesn’t work on his behavior. Don’t buy into any sweet promises he tells you until you can see a solid change in his actions. It might feel like you’re the one becoming toxic for this, and you might find yourself surfing the internet to see how to stop being toxic, but worry not. Sometimes, such difficult decisions need to be made. Hold off on that apology until then. Make him regret his absence.
Related Reading: 20 Simple Ways To Make A Guy Miss You
8. It’s time to let your anger shine
It is natural to feel bad about treating someone the way they treated you, especially if you’re not an inconsiderate person. But you can’t expect to get treated with kindness if you keep choosing people who have shown you they are unable to be kind at all.
- You can use all your pent-up anger for being ghosted. Add some of the anger you might have on other things like the patriarchy and the government, and just shower it all on him if he comes back with an apology
- You can tell him to go *unprintable* himself and ignore him for a while. He’ll want to please you, he might even be back on his knees
- Tell him you do not have time for childish mind games and you’re already with someone else. That ought to make him jealous
9. Withdraw your care, leave him out in the cold
Don’t let him catch you off guard. Ghosters have a reputation for coming back for seconds. Don’t give into the drama of “I don’t know what I want but I’m sorry”. It is a very old excuse. If he knows his words have the power to melt you, just because they have worked before, this is the time to show him you’ve changed.
When he sees that you don’t believe his lies, that you don’t sympathize with his excuses, that you are not expressing the same care as you used to, he’ll be taken aback and it’ll make him regret ghosting you.
10. Never ever make first contact (again)
This one is for those who have been ghosted by the same person over and over. In a moment of weakness, the best of us have thought our ghoster might have forgotten to respond. Or he might have been too busy, or too distracted, or this or that. And we may have sent a lonely “Hey, just checking in to see if everything is alright” text only for it to be left on seen. AGAIN.
There’s no shame or judgment in admitting to having done so. But moving forward, you must remember never to try and re-establish a connection with a serial ghoster no matter what. Give him the silent treatment. This way, he can see that you do not care about him or his actions anymore. He’ll be expecting you to text/call him or reach out in some way like you used to whenever he ghosted you earlier. Trust us, subconsciously, he’s waiting for that to happen. But when he sees you aren’t trying to get in touch with him at all this time, he will regret ever ghosting you.
Related Reading: 15 Reasons Your Man Never Texts You First But Always Replies To You
11. Catch him off guard to make him regret ghosting you
Wanna know the best revenge, the perfect answer for how to make a guy regret ghosting you? Make it look like you didn’t even notice.
- Act surprised if he ever texts you again; make it seem like his whole existence slipped from your mind and you’re just remembering about him in that moment
- Carolyn Wexler on Quora says, “Pretend not to notice. If the person ignores you, give him a big hug and say, it’s so nice to see youuuuu! Say ‘I’m sorry I have not kept in touch. I’ve been so busy.’ That would catch anyone off guard, if you ask me”
12. Tell him that this was pretty predictable
Joseph Porter, a professor of Philosophy and Ethics, said on Quora, “Everyone likes to think of themselves as being a unique individual. It is also irksome to feel as if one is predictable. Being predictable (i.e., generalizing one’s behavioral pattern) implies that one is ‘determined’ in the sense that what one does is simply a result of a series of causal factors – it leaves no room for spontaneity or individuality in how one behaves.”
That is why when you generalize someone’s behavior, it drives them nuts. Tell him calmly, as if you’re glad to be proven right, that you knew they were someone who would do something like this. Compare him to a generalization he finds annoying, he probably fits it too. *shrugs* Corner him in that comparison trap.
13. Dress amazingly and show off
You can bring out your sexiest outfits and flood your Instagram with some fabulous photos of you. While you’re at it, ask your friends to post good photos of you as well. He’ll see what he’s missing out on and instantly regret his decision of ghosting you. Thirst traps work too, but don’t do anything you’re not comfortable with just to get a boy’s attention.
Related Reading: 10 Outfit Ideas For Women To Wear On First Date
14. Get in touch with your mutuals or his friends
Being cheerfully involved with people whom he keeps in touch with regularly is a great way to get back at a guy who ghosted you. They are bound to take your topic up with him sometime and he will be stuck thinking of you for a while, catching him off guard. They might even tell him how great you looked, the things you’re up to, or about the new person you’re hanging out with.
15. Join the gym and make him regret ghosting you
The cliche is true: When you look good, you really do feel good. Exercising doesn’t only make your brain release endorphins but it’s also a great way to tone your muscles. Revenge body is a thing after all, isn’t it?
16. Thank the ghoster for helping you raise your standards
It is not to say that you have low standards but giving guys who ghost a second chance does not look good on your dating resume. When someone leaves, let them be gone for good and move on to people who prove their willingness to reciprocate your time and efforts. It will be an amazing idea to actually tell the guy who ghosted you all this.
Don’t let this give you low self- esteem. Instead, send him a text/email of gratitude: “Hi, thank you for leaving me when you did. I don’t think I could have gotten out of that unfulfilling relationship on my own. If you hadn’t left, I would have never found better standards. Take care.”
17. Don’t try too hard
The biggest mistake you can make is trying way too hard to get his attention, like posting random sappy quotes or songs that he’ll know are directed toward him. It will make him want to distance himself more. Living your life naturally would be the best revenge.
18. ‘Forget’ that he exists
Here’s our idea on how to make a guy regret ghosting you. Ghosters like to know you’re still thinking of them, so, show them that you’ve moved on. Bump into him ‘accidentally’ in public, make sure he notices you, and then pretend to forget about his existence. Just keep laughing with your friends and walk on.
If he comes over to say hi, all you have to do is ask, “Do I know you?” This will send him spiraling. He’ll want to know how you could forget him so easily and he’ll try to remind you. Act all nonchalant. This will teach him.
19. Exude confidence around him
This one is for those who have to deal with their ghoster on a regular basis. Lachlan Brown, a renowned author, said in an article, “Ghosters feed their ego by bruising someone else’s.” So instead of letting him into your head diminishing your worth, show him how unbothered you are, and that anything he does or does not do has no effect on you whatsoever.
Maneuver every situation that involves him with confidence. He is very likely to regret ghosting you because who doesn’t love a confident woman? Here’s what you can do:
- If he’s in the same class as you: Go to the class prepared and confidently answer the teacher’s questions. If you make eye contact with him accidentally, just glaze over him and go about your day
- If you work in the same office/building: Take a friend with you and deliberately run into him. Ask your friend to boast about you loudly, while you soak in the pride and the fumes of your ghoster’s regret
- If he’s your neighbor: Bring friends (other guys specifically) over and let him get jealous. Oh, and always leave your home dressed your best, so he knows your mental health hasn’t taken a hit. And well, when you’re dressed your best, you feel confident yourself
20. Speak to a professional
While this article explores the top ways on how to make a guy regret ghosting you, it may be helpful to talk about your situation with a relationship coach or a therapist. No matter how common ghosting is, there is no denying that it takes a toll on your mental and emotional health. You can browse through Bonobology’s team of experienced and professional experts and select the one you think can help you the most.
This will serve two purposes. All the tips mentioned above can only work effectively if you have achieved some semblance of inner resolution and calm. So, not only will this help you manage your mental health, but will also make him regret hurting you when he sees that you’ve actually become emotionally distant from him.
21. When all else fails – block, block, block!
Whether you’ve tried everything else time and time again or if you’re just getting into the first heartbreak of getting ghosted, blocking will save you a lot of time, effort, and energy. Not just after being ghosted, but also in the future if he tries to reach back. Follow the no-contact rule. When he sees himself blocked out of every way to access you, he will regret ghosting you.
Quora user, Hyperion Daxx, pretty much agrees. Her answer to a question about getting the best revenge on your ghoster was, “Ghost them like they ghosted you, block, ignore etc, etc. … but don’t stop. Let the pain fuel you. Don’t just cut them out of your physical life, cut them out of your emotional presence.”
Key Pointers
- Ghosting is a hurtful way that some people choose to leave situations and relationships because they want to avoid conflict and don’t have the bandwidth to communicate their feelings or perspectives
- There is not just one answer as to why a person might end up ghosting someone or end up getting ghosted. It can leave the ghosted party highly confused, sad, and in self-doubt
- However, there are certain ways through which you can make him regret ghosting you, like blocking him, ignoring him, showing yourself off and what he is missing out on, etc
- But it is important to remember to not let this be your only aim. Never lose your confidence, and keep working on making yourself better
At the end of the day, you need to remember that people have their own reasons for what they do, and it’s ultimately up to them to take responsibility for their actions and their emotions. While it’s important to take care of yourself, it’s not possible to control or change someone else’s behavior. Remind yourself that someone ghosting you does not define who you are as a person and it is not a reflection of your worth. Give yourself time to process your feelings and to take care of yourself during this difficult time. Engaging in self-care activities such as exercise, spending time with friends and family, or pursuing hobbies can help you cope with the feelings of being ghosted.
FAQs
Karma is a personal belief. Some people might be sure that ghosters will face negative consequences for their actions in the future. Some people would also say that it is not necessary that ghosters will face negative consequences. It’s important to focus on your own healing and well-being, rather than focusing on getting revenge or waiting for someone else to experience consequences.
The effects of ghosting can be hurtful and long-lasting, but it is ultimately up to the person who was ghosted to work through their feelings and move on. The feeling of being ghosted can be overwhelming, but with time its impact will reduce and you’ll learn to cope with it.
The act of ghosting someone can be hurtful to the person doing the ghosting. Quora user, Sean, talks about feeling guilty about ghosting someone with “The Fade is such a terrible feeling. Nobody likes to let someone down.” He explains that he liked a woman but gradually lost all interest and ended up ghosting her.
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