The last step is to just say yes and forgive. As Nike would say, “just do it.” However, when you forgive, do it sincerely and completely. When you do this and you release the person who hurt you, you are actually releasing yourself.

Unforgiveness is a prison that you walk into and willingly lock the door behind you. It keeps you trapped in the past and hinders you from living fully and freely in the present. Therefore, it hurts your future. I am not saying this from a place of condemnation. I am saying this from a place of experience because I was the one who was trapped. When I came to the place where I forgave, the unnecessary weight I was carrying was gone and it made me wonder why I waited so long to do this.

How Do You Know When You Have Forgiven Someone?

As I wrap this up, there is this last question to address. How do you know when you have truly forgiven someone who hurt you? Here are two quick answers.

The first is when you remember the hurt, but the sting is gone. There really is no such thing as forgive and forget because our minds don’t work that way. Only God can forgive and forget. However, you can get to the place where, even though you remember the offense, it no longer hurts and you don’t hold it against that person.

The second way you know you have forgiven is when you can do something towards that person which you could not do before. This might be as simple as praying sincerely for them, having a conversation with them, sharing a meal, writing a letter, or sending a card for their birthday. Whatever the action is, it is one you could not do before, but you can do now.


Let me recap the 4 steps to help you forgive others.  

1. Perspective

2. Remember

3. Acknowledge

4. Yes

If you caught it the acronym is P.R.A.Y. When you are struggling with unforgiveness, then remember P.R.A.Y. and don’t just remember it as an acronym, but also as an action, because as you pray, God will empower you to help you choose to forgive.

Photo credit: ©Getty Images/seb_ra



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