The Duchess of Sussex released her successful podcast, Archetypes, last year to widespread acclaim. She promoted the pod with several magazine interviews, which was kind of unnecessary because Archetypes got millions of dollars worth of free media exposure – you see, the British media treated the Spotify podcast like it was mandatory, like they were being forced to listen to it and to mock everything she said. No matter – it was still a massively popular pod and it’s already won awards. After that, she was seen several times at QEII’s funeral, then the Sussexes had their massively successful Netflix docuseries, then Meghan went low-key while Harry promoted his memoir. She’s only been seen a few times this year, and she won’t go to the fakakta coronation shambles. All of that means that the Telegraph felt the need to write this piece: “Why has Meghan vanished into thin air?” They cannot stand that she’s capable of being private and quiet whenever she wants. It ruins all of their stupid talking points about how she’s a “famewhore” who “needs” to be seen constantly. Some highlights from this psychotic story:

Meghan hasn’t been seen at all this year (a lie): But since the start of this year …nothing. Holed up in Montecito, Meghan Markle has made precisely zero appearances at official events (although in March she did release official photos from a trip to a Los Angeles organisation that supports homeless Pregnant women), and Wednesday brought confirmation that she will not be at the King’s Coronation next month either. In truth, it had been an open secret among friends in California that she never had any intention of being in Westminster Abbey to see her father-in-law crowned, but the Meghan-shaped absence from US society in recent months has nonetheless come as a surprise.

What Meghan is up to: “The answer, it seems, can be summed up in three words: planning, parenting and regrouping. Parenting is part of the reason the Duchess decided not to come to the Coronation, friends have said, as it falls on the same day as Prince Archie’s fourth birthday. After initially saying the date clash would be a “factor” in any decision but not the “defining factor”, sources close to the Duchess are now suggesting it was “the main reason” for her non-attendance.

Her British chapter is over: More pertinently, those who know the Duchess have left little doubt that for her, returning to the UK for major events would be something of a backward step. Having been through the trauma of Megxit, the British chapter of her life is behind her, and in front of her all pathways are in the US.

This argument makes zero sense: Friends are also swift to suggest that portrayals of the Duchess as a publicity obsessive who uses the Royal family as a tool to raise her profile have been proved demonstrably wrong by her decision to stay away from one of the most-watched global television events of the year. They would struggle to deny, however, that the Duke and Duchess delighted in keeping the hated British media guessing over their Coronation plans for months, even though the decision was taken as long ago as January.

Meghan isn’t writing a book: Talk of her writing a book as part of Prince Harry’s multi-volume deal with Penguin Random House is wide of the mark, The Telegraph has been told (to the immense relief of the Royal Household, no doubt), and instead the Duchess has been plotting her next move in the worlds of television, podcasting and blogging.

They still believe that Meghan will revive The Tig: Having quit royal life the Duchess’s blogging ambitions are no longer constrained, and last month a patent application to revive the website was given preliminary approval by US authorities, meaning she will be free to reboot the blog at the start of June. If the Duchess goes ahead with the plan, Tig 2.0 will feature articles, interviews and photographs “in the fields of food, cooking, recipes, travel, fashion, style, lifestyle, the arts, culture, design, conscious living, and health and wellness”. It would also provide “commentary on the field of personal relationships”, suggesting Meghan might see herself as an agony aunt to the rich and famous.

These people are idiots: Prince Harry’s decision to row back from his wife’s allegations of royal racism – originally made in the couple’s infamous Oprah Winfrey interview in 2021 – by failing to repeat them in his book have also left Meghan exposed.

[From The Telegraph]

It’s been over three years and these dumbasses still don’t realize that they let a bad bitch go. They couldn’t handle her, they maligned her, smeared her, denigrated her and tried to destroy her, and Meghan walked away, free and clear. She doesn’t owe them anything, they are not entitled to know what she’s working on or what she’s planning. She didn’t owe them a quick RSVP. She doesn’t owe them her time or energy. They don’t own her or her children. They complain endlessly when she works, they complain endlessly when she’s at home raising her children.

Look, they made an infographic timeline! OMG, maybe the Telegraph should hire Cry-monger Kate to do a f–king pie chart of Meghan’s appearances. What am I saying, Kate already has a pie chart in her Meghan lookbook.

Photos courtesy of Instar, Cover Images and Backgrid.

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