By Dr. Jane Greer: Marriage & Family Therapist, Author, Radio Host & Shrink Wrap Celebrity Commentator

Deciding to have a baby is a big deal. Some people spend a lot of time waiting for the perfect moment, while others have it thrust upon them, and are caught off guard. Many would argue there is no one way to go about it, and there is not always an ideal moment. Sometimes, though, signs do start pointing you in that direction. Here are three to pay attention to if you find them happening in your life.

1) You are less interested in the social scene and want to stay home more. Without even noticing the shift, you might suddenly realize that you and your husband haven’t been going out nearly as much as you used to. Instead, you are happy to just stay home and settle in for the evening. There may have been a time, not so long ago, when you were juggling a lot of social plans, negotiating which friends you would spend time with when, filling your calendar with dinners, parties and plays, and rarely spending a free evening on the couch. Lately, though, all of that seems cumbersome, and you just aren’t as interested anymore. You might feel you have seen all the plays and eaten at all the new restaurants. You have basically covered the scene and are now ready to turn your focus inward. You feel you are ready for more quiet time. All of this can indicate that you have a strong feeling of stability and security with your husband, you are comfortable in each other’s presence, and you don’t need to be out on the town to be entertained or fulfilled. In fact, you might be ready to share that comfort and intimacy, and possibly soon to be not-so-quiet time, with a new family member. 

2)You find yourself fantasizing about a baby and all that goes along with it. Have you been searching the Internet for colors for a future nursery, or clicking on all the links that cross your path on social media about popular and up and coming baby names? Do you find yourself wondering what it might look and feel like to be pregnant, even sneaking peeks at books on the subject that you once found totally boring? Do you wonder what it might be like to have a son or a daughter, and then find yourself surprised that you actually have a preference? If the answer is yes to any of these, it sounds like the hope and possibility is already in your heart, and you might be ready to take the next steps to make it a reality. If that’s the case, it might be a good time to talk to your husband and see where he stands on the matter. You both might be ready to have that discussion about family planning.

3) You find yourself looking at other babies with interest and curiosity. Was there a time when you used to wish your friends could just leave their babies at home when you met for lunch, but now suddenly you are so happy to see the little guys when they arrive? Instead of finding the highchair mess unappealing and the crying and screeching sounds annoying, as you once did, you are now fascinated by it all and spend more time trying to make the baby smile than you do talking to your friend. When you have a chance to hold a baby, you might find yourself hugging it a little too tightly and feeling reluctant to hand him or her back. You may even find yourself taking pictures of the little ones to show your husband how adorable they are later. These could all be signs that your maternal instinct may have been ignited, and you may be ready to become a mom and have your own baby to hug.


Dr. Jane Greer; Marriage and Family Therapist

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