We are always learning new things about ourselves. Learning is a good thing and the only constant in life is our always changing state of flux. Who you are now is different than who you were 5 years ago. Who you are going to be in 5 years is not who you are now. Our sexuality is no different. It is only natural to discover new sexual pleasures and interests the longer we are on this planet.
Today’s topic comes from a reader who went in for a prostate exam and came out with a new aspect of their sexuality to explore. What do you do when a routine doctor’s visit changes how you view your sexuality?
“Recently I went in for a doctors checkup and he “checked my prostate”. To my surprise, it felt amazing! Since then I have gotten my wife to finger me. I have also started watching strapon videos and fantasizing about booking a session with a pro. If I enjoyed the session, I am considering telling my wife it’s something that I want to explore and purchasing a strap-on for her. How do I get started? Any tips would be greatly appreciated!”–Craving A Pegging
A huge congratulations on finding a whole new part of your sexuality! You have come to the right place CAP. Not only am I a strap-on expert, I teach classes on the subject and I used to do pro sessions.
Not Everyone Will Have The Same Prostate Exam Experience
A prostate can deliver as much pleasure as a G-spot and is a wonderland of bliss for those who choose to play with it. For a variety of reasons, prostate owners can sometimes feel uncomfortable with inserting anything inside themselves. This is a mindset that I am always fighting against in my education. Pleasure is pleasure. If something feels good, you have a right to explore it! You are certainly not the first person who has written into me after a doctor’s appointment with a completely different view of prostate stimulation, and I doubt you will be the last. You have a wonderful world in front of you now, let’s get you started on exploring it.
First, just to be clear, not everybody that has a prostate exam will have the same reaction you did. Some people are indifferent, some people find it uncomfortable, while others, like you, find it pleasurable and want to explore the sensation further. As long as you were not moaning and rocking on your doctor’s finger mid prostate exam, it is all good.
The fact that you already feel comfortable enough to do some finger play with your spouse is a really good sign. Some people have spouses that do not want to do any exploration with them, fortunately your wife is not one of those people. Having an open-minded spouse is a big bonus on your journey.
Why Do You Want To Hire A Pro?
What are your reasons for wanting to hire a pro? Are you concerned that you will be embarrassed? Do you want to ensure that everything goes smoothly? If you don’t like it is it something you want to safely jettison and never try again? All of those things are easily surmountable obstacles as long as you have a willing partner, which according to your letter you seem to have.
Not everything that we try works and that is okay. It’s okay to try something and decide it is not for you. You are much better off being comfortable with exploration. I firmly believe that it is better to try something and not like it than to always wonder if it would have been fun.
Your letter does not state whether or not your wife would be okay with you booking a Pro Dom session. Generally when people don’t include that detail I have to assume it’s something they want to do without filling in their spouse first. Just be aware, things that we try and hide from our significant others have a tendency to come to light whether we want it to or not.
Be Honest With Your Wife About This Newfound Curiosity
Is seeing a Pro Dom something your wife would be comfortable with? If you are not going to tell your wife, is she going to wonder when you suddenly show up with a strap-on and encourage her to go for it? Because your wife has already proven that she is not turned off by this newfound addition to your bedroom routine, I urge you to not automatically go for the booking a pro route.
Tell her. Confide this new interest to your wife. Tell her that you have really enjoyed the finger play and you want to take it to the next level. Tell her you would like to see what it is like. She’s either going to say yes or no. If she says yes, there is a whole new country in the land of sexuality that the two of you now get to hang out in. If she shut you down completely and shames you for it, you can reconsider the pro route. Going to a professional shouldn’t be the first option on the list if you have a solid relationship with an understanding partner. Understanding partners are a joy and a treasure. Best of luck and I wish you much prostate pleasure in your future!
Keep it Kinky My Friends,
RDG
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