Whether you are in a relationship or just starting one, everyone is going to have an opinion. And typically it’s that you are with the wrong person. So who do you trust – yourself or the people who think they know what’s best for you? And what should you say to those naysayers?

            If you can be clear about why you are with someone, that your choice is purposeful, it will be much easier to deal with the negative remarks that might otherwise ignite your doubts. Once you have that clarity, you are equipped to handle people’s criticisms about your choice of partner. Here is the strategy for what to do when they disparage your relationship. Begin by meeting them head-on and asking what their specific concerns are. Then, since you have already taken your own inventory, you can respond by saying you are aware of the possible problems and are dealing with them. Or, if it is something you have not considered, you can listen and agree to give it some thought. The goal is to convey to them why your partner is important in your life, and thank them for their concern because ultimately it comes from a place of caring.


Dr. Jane Greer; Marriage and Family Therapist

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