[ad_1]
Once you are past twenty-five, you see an outbreak of marriage fever in your surroundings. Everyone, from your peers to colleagues, seems to catch it sooner or later. Your social media is flooded with wedding pictures and new relationship statuses along with a chorus of best wishes. And you being the single happy soul (or the flag bearer of complicated relationships) are now arguing with your parents, “Give me 10 reasons to get married.”
When I was going through this stage, I also heard some ridiculous excuses from family and friends. For instance, my parents would say, “There is a certain age for everything in life; so, get married whether you find love or not”, or my best friend would sign me up on dating apps because she wants to go bridesmaid dress shopping. Besides fulfilling others’ irrational expectations, there are plenty of practical reasons to find a life partner and settle down and that’s exactly what we are going to talk about today.
What is marriage?
Let’s ditch the cliched definitions of marriage like it’s a social institution or legal union and skip to the good part. What does a happy and healthy marriage look like? You are in love! And you want to celebrate the beautiful bond you have with your partner and share that joy with kin and friends. So, you tie the knot to make it official in the eyes of the world and the law.
Marriage has many shapes and forms driven by social, religious, and legal norms, such as arranged marriage, celestial marriage, Boston marriage, civil union, interfaith marriage, and many others. But what a happy marriage really constitutes is what comes after the wedding ceremony – how well two people adapt to this new life, breeze through the obstacles coming their way, and live in harmony for a long time.
A national survey on married couples run in 50 U.S. states found out that the top five strengths of a healthy marriage are –communication, closeness, flexibility, personality issues, and conflict resolution. The Gottman Institute says that the point of marriage is not happiness. Rather it’s growth. Precisely, spouses are supposed to support each other through thick and thin and even get into conflicts sometimes if that means telling the bitter truth for the other’s best interest.
Why is marriage important? Top 5 reasons
Statistics show that married adults (58%) express a higher level of satisfaction in their union than those who are in a live-in relationship (41%). We asked our readers to share their opinion on marriage and here’s what we hear – “It’s a source of love and intimacy”, “Marriage steals freedom”, “It’s all about sex”, “Marriage is a patriarchal institution”, and so on.
With due respect to every point of view, Bonobology prefers to keep an open mind and urges you to frame your own definition of marriage based on your reality and instincts. However, if you are here looking for a positive outlook on marriage, we give you five reasons why marriage is important and still relevant in our society:
- It gives you a lifetime of companionship in sickness and in health
- Happiness and emotional intimacy in marriage impact your physical health in the long run
- Marriage unlocks the gate to many legal and economic benefits
- The presence of both parents in wedlock is one of the simplest ways of raising a child
- Marriage is an adventure – one in which you discover yourself and your spouse in a new light every day
10 Reasons To Get Married (Really Good Ones!)
Let me guess, so you are with your partner for 2-3 years. Now it appears to be that time when you think of the next step for this relationship. And you can’t help but wonder whether it’s absolutely necessary to legitimize this partnership with the stamp of marriage when simply moving in together can offer you an equally fulfilling life.
Since marriage is one hell of a decision in a person’s life, many of us often cower from taking that leap. Commitment issues, worries about losing freedom, or even fear of missing out on new possibilities cloud our judgment. But there are other aspects to marriage than grocery shopping and adding more branches to the family tree. So, to get you on board with the idea, we give you the 10 best reasons to get married:
1. You are in love
There are many reasons besides love why more couples are leaning toward marriage, but in the pecking order of reasons love remains on top. Love makes your world go round. When it finally happens, it feels right enough that you wish to take your love to the next level. You envision the idea of you and your partner in new roles as husband and wife and imagine sweet babies in your arms in a few years.
We all have a hard time facing our doubts and insecurities about the impediments of the new life marriage transports us into. But it only takes the right person to show up and render those negative emotions ineffective. That kind of love has the power to push you one step closer to your dream wedding. A happy marriage is the ultimate culmination of anyone’s love story.
2. A great support system
In short, marriage is another name for stability. No more awkward dates, no more getting to know a person from scratch, no more breakup pangs. Marriage means access to each other’s vulnerabilities, happiness, and pains on a deeper level. A supportive spouse can be a great uplifting influence and the best sounding board during all your good times and bad. If you are looking for romantic reasons to get married, you can always count on this one.
- From traveling to small gifts to homemade meals, married people enjoy the simple things in life with each other forever
- Your spouse becomes your biggest cheerleader in all your dreams, ambitions, and success stories
- Married people who appreciate each other, believe in healthy communication, and have faith in their marriage, can function as a strong team of two
- From caring for elderly parents and children to the kitchen duties, you always get more help as you are not alone in this
3. Sharing your life with someone
If you are looking for some good reasons to get married then this is definitely one. You get a feeling that after years of living as a single man/woman, you are finally ready to drop anchor and nest and share your life with someone. And that’s when you know you are ready for the big day and you can start planning today!
Knowing you don’t have to come back to an empty apartment anymore is what makes homecoming even more exciting. Going to bed together, waking up together, planning holidays and weekends, or deciding on what to cook at home are things that are extremely enjoyable in a marriage. For many couples, sharing a cup of coffee in the morning is the most important ritual that they hold on to all their life.
Related Reading: Love After Marriage – 9 Ways It Is Different From Love Before Marriage
4. Marriage makes you more responsible
Like it or not, at some point in life, you have to grow up and start making mature decisions. And one of the logical reasons people get married is because marriage teaches you all about being a responsible adult. My friend Dan has always been the wild one – late nights, adventure sports, solo trips, and whatnot! And that made it even more surprising to see him fit the role of a dependable husband as a married man. Responsibility in marriage means:
- Feeling the need to nurture and care for someone apart from yourself
- Putting a check on the crazy nightlife, irregular way of living, and unhealthy habits
- Working harder to make more money for the financial security of the family
- Performing equal duties to manage a harmonious household
- Staying loyal to your life partner and committing to a lasting partnership that only marriage can bring
5. To start a family
Do you look at the married parents in your friend circle and wish you could too dote on a little one? We assume, growing up, you have always fostered the idea of a family and children and you see yourself easily slipping into the parent roles. If so, the simplest and the most beautiful way to add to the family tree is through marriage.
There is nothing more rewarding than raising one with the love of your life. A child can fill your life with so much warmth and joy. No wonder getting married would be worth every bit when you see yourself and your life partner reaching the same goal and have already had several conversations about this.
6. Growing old with someone
One of the most logical reasons to get married is to have a pillar of strength in your life as you grow old. When the kids move out, married people have got each other to fall back on. Over time, as you know your spouse on a deeper level, you master the art of silent communication, like understanding what’s on their mind without having to say anything and the inner meaning of their non-verbal gestures.
From learning each other’s quirks to holding onto one another through sickness and health, marriage gives you a great window seat to this life. Even better are the myriad memories you can make with someone in a marriage and the camaraderie you can build up slowly over the years.
And not just the mental strength, marriage has a great impact on your physical health as well. A Harvard Medical School survey shows that married men tend to be healthier and live longer than those who are unmarried or whose marriage ended in divorce. There is no doubt that taking up life’s journey together is one of the best reasons to get married.
7. Financial reasons to get married
This might sound a bit too practical but the financial benefits coming along with marriage cannot be overlooked. Your incomes and brains put together, obviously, it’s more money, which in turn means a more convenient lifestyle. Usually, single people are not so much into savings and investments but with marriage, the attitude does change. Unlike the popular belief that marriage drains your finances, you actually gain financially when you get married. For instance,
- You have to pay a lower tax amount for your combined income as married people
- You get access to cheaper insurance policies and become more eligible for mortgages as a couple
- If you are both working individuals, you can choose two different health insurance plans or enjoy the benefits of your husband/wife’s plan
- Plus, you can split finances to take the burden off of one person alone
8. You get the legal benefits
Now, it may not be one of the most romantic reasons to get married, but it has a deeper significance to more couples than you may think. For instance, same-sex couples who have fought for legal rights to marriage would want to get their union recognized in the public eye. Marriage can be the ultimate act of love for many couples who can’t be together for a visa or some other immigration law. Plus, marriage has a lot of other legal benefits when it comes to estate planning, social security, or even adoption.
9. You get to enjoy physical intimacy
It is said that marriage takes away the spark from your marriage because you settle into a rhythm but the opposite can happen. If you find sexual compatibility in your marriage then you can find excitement in intimacy even if you are in your 50s and sex remains a bonding factor in your relationship. In a marriage, you can enjoy sexual and non-verbal gestures of affection at all stages of your life and it is truly fulfilling.
Related Reading: How Often Do 50-Year-Old Married Couples Make Love?
10. Emotional intimacy gives you stability
Of all the 10 reasons to get married, achieving emotional intimacy is certainly a big one. You achieve emotional intimacy through communication and it gives you a sense of belongingness and affinity to this loving person you call your wife/husband. When you are connected with your spouse on a deeper level, you understand each other so well that you can handle the ups and downs of life together like a team.
10 Wrong Reasons To Get Married
Are you sick of the series of awkward dates and no real connection forming whatsoever? Do you absolutely loathe coming back to a lonely house and having your dinner by yourself? Are you feeling left alone because everyone around you is tying the knot? So far we discussed the right reasons to get married and these are not one of them.
Marrying in a haste to cover up certain inadequacies in your life will only land you in an unhappy marriage. Please think twice before you start booking the wedding vendors or install that easy weddings app if any of the following excuses resonate with you:
1. To figure out your relationship problems
Nothing is going right in your love relationship and doubts gnaw at you all the time. You feel that life as a married couple will reduce all the uncertainty, stress, and doubts in your relationship and enforce some stability. You pin hopes that life after marriage may smoothen out some of the creases in your love relationship.
2. No one wants to be alone
As close friends take their shot at having a happy married life, you see yourself being left alone. But do you know you can be married and still be lonely? Marriage is still seen as a rite of passage in our society. You dread the constant question of ‘are you married?’ and feel at times that you may have missed the bus and are staring at a deadbeat future alone.
Related Reading: Love After Marriage – 9 Ways It Is Different From Love Before Marriage
3. You don’t want to face up to your own problems
Our society regularly primes us to see marriage as a one-stop solution to all our problems. Many of us want to buy into this fantasy even as we have yet to confront and work out our own personal demons or problems. Mostly we wish to escape our own fear of dealing with childhood trauma, a bad breakup, failure at a career, or deep-seated issues with our parents and expect marriage and a partner to do the work for us. But eventually, it only contributes to the high divorce rate of 35%-50%.
4. Everyone’s getting married
For single people out there, it becomes extremely tiring to be the bridesmaid or best man at every wedding. The more weddings you attend, the more you have to face inquisitive relatives questioning your plans of settling down. Many of your cousins have graduated to having kids when you are barely even acing the dating game. The single life refuses to hold the charm it used to. All your married friends are busy hooking you up on dating apps so you all can socialize together on couple nights.
5. You are dying to have the dream wedding
Your social media feed is littered with those oh-so-perfect wedding pics and the glittering smiles while you scroll through Pinterest looking at pictures of wedding rings and that perfect wedding dress for your big day- which is a far cry yet. You too are tempted to plan an elegant June wedding, pose for those gorgeous photos, and the honeymoon! You attach a certain glamour to life after marriage and want to have those fantasy couple goals in the first few months like the other married people around you.
6. Loneliness and boredom
As her pool of friends started disappearing, Anne, our reader from L.A, realized that married people have different priorities, leaving her like the odd one out. It was too late for her to make new friends and dating didn’t hold the promise it used to earlier. With lesser friends for socializing, she was on her own a lot and felt that a spouse would be the perfect antidote to ward off her loneliness. According to her narrative, she had her best friend to drag her out of that headspace and we are here to do the same for you.
7. Your ex or exes are married
Let’s face it, who doesn’t feel that slight twinge of jealousy when confronted with the wedding pics of an ex with a brand new partner staring at a lifetime of togetherness while all you have is your cat or your DVD collection? You feel a marriage now will bring back the attraction that your ex felt for you and who knows it may even make you feel one up in this heady game of ‘new couple’ on the block.
Related Reading: Power Struggle In Relationships – The Right Way To Deal With It
8. You have to take the lineage forward
Loads of people in your family are procreating and taking their lineage forward and it’s not your responsibility alone. If you want a baby, that’s fine to feel that way from your maternal or paternal instincts. But if looking at the married parents in your social group is giving you baby fever or having a child is your sole purpose behind this marriage, then you are not realizing marriage is much more than that. To call a spade a spade, it is a wrong reason to get married.
9. You need a partner to do the chores
You are tired of your home being in shambles, you hate the chores and keeping track of the bills and you want your partner to do it for you. You want marriage to solve this problem. Let’s tell you, you will make a lazy husband or a lazy wife, and your partner will hate you for your incompetence and inability. Marriage is a partnership where both spouses do all kinds of work, so don’t expect your partner to keep home for you.
10. You want to control someone
Yes, we know you have controlling instincts and you want a submissive partner who would lead and follow you as well. Let us remind you the days of slavery are over and control is looked upon as abuse in a relationship. Only get married if you can be an equal partner otherwise don’t even think about it.
We hope these 10 reasons to get married (and not to get married) offer you some clarity in your decision-making process. In the end, you should say “I do” only when you feel you are ready – not because of family or peer pressure, not to suppress your own shortcomings or insecurities, because that way, you will only deceive yourself and your partner.
This article has been updated in March, 2023.
Dating For Marriage? 11 Important Things You Should Be Prepared For
[ad_2]
#Reasons #Married #Blissful #Life
