Dirty Talk Advice ColumnHuman brains are a very interesting and never boring place, as far as I am concerned. They are wide-ranging and varied, and there is always something new to learn about them. Used effectively, they can be a very powerful tool, and time invested in getting to know how we tick is always time well spent.

One of my core educational concepts is how wide-ranging our desires are—once we free ourselves of the “tab A into slot B” autopilot mindset, there is a truly massive buffet out there for the taking. I love seeing someone light up when they look around for the first time with their blinders off and realize just how well-stocked the Life Buffet actually is. Today’s column comes courtesy of a reader that knows they like the taste of obeying, but can’t figure out why. The Dirty Talk Advice Column knows exactly why. Ready to find out for yourself?

“I have a question and I figured you would be the person to ask–I was wondering why I get SO aroused when I am obeying a Dom? Even if I know there will be no sex or I am keeping my clothes on? The feeling is incredible but I don’t understand it. Why does it turn me on so much to obey a Dom?–Obedient Boy Eagerly Yeses

I love this question OBEY! Welcome to the deeper end of the pleasure pool. You are currently discovering one of my favorite things ever. Fun, isn’t it? Society, by and large, pushes on us a very sexualized and heteronormative concept that all sexy times should be naked penetration. And if it isn’t naked penetration, then it isn’t actually sexy times.

Sexuality Comes In All Different Flavors

Sexuality FlavorsAs an educator and as a student of life, I genuinely despise this mindset. It teaches people that unless it is a hard cock doing some penetrating, it isn’t really sex. When men have grown up on this concept and find themselves older with a Mr. Happy that doesn’t always rise to the occasion, it can leave them floundering and feeling like they are somehow now less of a man.

Teaching the truth that human sexuality is actually much wider-ranging and nuanced than naked penetration is one of the things I have dedicated my life to. It is such an important and valuable truth. The sexual buffet is MASSIVE and packed full of flavor. There is so much out there once we start looking around.

The narrative that sex is only naked penetration and nothing else is toxic and sets people up to fail. Not to mention plenty of people aren’t doing any penetrating at all, but they are still having extremely active sex lives. Sex is so much more than tab As and slot Bs.

Your Brain Just Loves Obeying

Obeying BrainYou are curious why you find obeying a Dominant so thrilling, even if you know you’re never going to have sex or take your clothes off…why would the simple act of obeying feel so amazing for you? Why? Because it turns you on and the brain is the most powerful sex organ we have. It’s as simple as that. Our brains are where the action actually is.

People have orgasms from phone sex, hypnosis, and just thinking about it. I have cum from getting my toes sucked or getting my calves caned. I have orgasmed from simply watching other people have sex without ever touching myself. If something turns us on, we derive pleasure from it. Pleasure is the reward and as long as it is consensual, there’s no right or wrong way to achieve that pleasure. There’s only what works for you.

Enjoy Sampling The Sexual Buffet

Sexual BuffetAs someone with submissive tendencies, you get deep dopamine pleasure from the act of obeying. That’s wonderful! Go for it. Learning just how infinite the possibilities are out there is a wonderful discovery. I’m always trying to encourage more people toward that particular discovery.

Flesh is fickle and inevitably betrays. It is constantly finding new ways to let us down. Most of us will get to the point where our bodies simply don’t cooperate how we would wish and yet we are still in these meat sacks until the curtains close. Learning now just how many options you have and exploring the various ways to achieve those dopamine payoffs is an incredibly valuable use of one’s time. You are on a great path of self-discovery OBEY–keep it up! That is an order.

Keep it Kinky My Friends,

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Rain DeGrey

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