Dirty Talk Advice ColumnSecrets can be delicious, thrilling things. Sexual secrets even more so. Having a sexual secret puts a pep in your step and a twinkle in your eye. But what do you do when you are living with others? How does one maintain a sexual secret when you are in a shared living space?

Today’s topic comes from a reader who is uncertain how to maintain their sissy training without their family or friends finding out. Let’s throw on our finest fishnets and heels and dive in, shall we? Even if you are not undergoing secret sissy training yourself, there are some helpful tips for maintaining privacy in an increasingly crowded world.

“Because of the pandemic, I am not leaving my house much these days. Luckily for me, I have started doing online and texting sissy training and I LOVE it! It is SO much fun. My question is how do I keep it secret from my family and friends? I don’t want to stop so how do I keep it hidden?”–Secret Sissy Training

Your letter doesn’t specify the exact nature of your living arrangement. I do not know if you live alone or are sharing a space. Because you contacted me I am going to assume that you live with other people so there is a higher likelihood of someone stumbling upon your sissy secret. Additionally, I am going to reasonably assume you have your own phone/computer and room. Finally, since you don’t go into detail about what exactly this sissy training entails I can only hazard a guess.

It Only Takes Minimal Privacy To Keep Your Sissy Training Secret

Secret SissyYour family and friends don’t need to know what you do behind closed doors. You should feel free to prance around in lace lingerie to your hearts content in your own room, hopefully with the door lock engaged to prevent unwanted intrusion. You should also be afforded the expectation that someone won’t go rifling through your drawers or under your bed. If you are not granted this modicum of privacy then this is a boundary you need to establish.

In a worst-case scenario, with a shared bedroom and a shared family computer where the only privacy you get is in the bathroom, you could still maintain your training in secret…if you WANT to. If nothing else you can wear a bra and panties discreetly under your regular clothes. Barring a situating where you have zero privacy at all times it shouldn’t be hard to keep your proclivity private with minimal effort.

A Secret’s Value Comes From Those Who Don’t Know It

Secret Sissy TrainingThis brings me to the keeping a secret part of your question. If there is one thing I know about secrets it is that they instill in the holder a burning desire to be shared. Also, half the fun of a secret is seeing how far you can push the envelope before it is discovered.

Sexual secrets can feel like a huge exciting treasure. For many of us, getting to do something that we are very excited about and have wanted to do for a long time makes it hard to keep that information to ourselves. We are full and bursting at the seams with this joyous thing and we don’t make much of an effort to hide it. I have no doubt that your training is probably the highlight of your day. I counsel you not to make the highlight of your day something for others to deal with unless they have consented.

Your right to explore your sexuality end the very second they encroach on someone else’s right not to be part of your sex life. How hard are you trying to keep your training secret? Are there “oooops!! teehee!!” flashes of lace panties under your clothing? Are you leaving heels lying around in shared living spaces?

Keep Your Sissy Training Ethical

Sissy SecretAny ethical trainer, even if they are only working online or through a phone, is not going to be giving you instructions to drag your friends and family into your training. If they are, that is not a trainer you want to continue to engage with. If the assignment you are given is “Get dressed up and dust the living room in full outfit and heels while stepping around your family as they try to watch TV,” they are non consensually roping your family into your training. Your family is just trying to watch the news. They don’t need to see your dusting skills in heels. Consent is key.

Hopefully one day you will be able to get your own place with full privacy and dress up as much as you want. Until then, the ethical thing to do is respect the other people that you share space with. If your family and friends have not asked about your sissy training, it is on you to do your very best to keep your personal life to yourself. Don’t leave lace bras and panties drying in the sink. No make-up smears across your face during breakfast while everybody avoids eye contact with you. No toilet scrubbing with a plug in your ass while someone is attempting to take a shower.

Our sex lives can be kept to ourselves if we are willing to put in the effort. Sure, mistakes can happen and despite your best attempts somebody could go rummaging through your drawers and discover your petticoats. However, if you are living with people that are as committed to giving you privacy as you are committed to keeping your training to yourself, it is perfectly possible to pull off. Best of luck and may you blossom into the sissy you have always dreamed of being!

Keep it Kinky My Friends,

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Rain DeGrey

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